030 – Mini Musing: Emotions as Messengers

[0:00] Music.

[0:08] I’m Sarah Tacy and this is Threshold Moments, a podcast where guests and I share stories, about the process of updating into truer versions of ourselves.
The path is unknown and the pull feels real. Together we share our grief, laughter, love and life-saving tools.

[0:27] Music.

[0:38] Hello and welcome to Threshold Moments. We have another mini musings and this one is based upon a dream. And it wasn’t actually the content or the contents of a dream, but Instead, it was a knowing or a feeling or a message that I woke up with.
And I had to immediately run to a piece of paper and pen to write it down so that I got to keep it.
And the idea is that our emotions are entities.
So the premise of those mini musings is to say, what if you are not your emotions, which I’m sure you’ve all heard before, you are not your emotions.
In meditation they talk about letting emotions pass by or thoughts pass by like clouds in the sky, so that you are the sky but not the things that pass through it.

Emotions as Messengers, Visitors to Our Bodies

[1:44] But when I awoke with this message, your emotions are entities.
They are not you. They are messengers.

[1:54] This for me took it one step further. Not just that they’re passing by, but they’re messengers. They’re visitors. And they’re coming to my house, my body.
And I’m going to say they’re coming on my behalf. And that the only way they’re allowed entrance into my body is if I’m a match for them.

[2:22] If my environment is a match for them. If my environment is a match for sadness.
If my environment is a match for anger. If my environment is a match for joy, excitement, fear.
So today we’re going to look a little bit about how we create our internal and external environments but more of this is what does life look like when we start to notice our emotions as guests, as messengers, instead of over-identifying with them. I’m pausing because I’m like you know which direction do I go here and I think what I’ll do is I’ll tap into a slightly more scientific note. Many years ago, I read a book called Molecules of Emotion, which was written by Candice Peart. She was an American neuroscientist and a pharmacologist. She discovered the opiate receptor. She was one of the first people to be able to isolate these receptors.

[3:28] And this is a cellular binding site for endorphins. She’s published over 250 scientific articles on peptides and the receptors and the roles these neuropeptides play in the immune system and in our overall health and the way that we feel and experience the world.
She helped us to realize that the mind is non-local. It’s not, these receptors are not just in the brain.
These receptors that would give us a feeling of joy, hope, elation, well-being. It’s not being processed simply in the brain, it’s being processed throughout the entirety of our body on neurons that are in our heart, in our belly, in our gut, in our liver, in our muscles. The way that this plays into this idea of entities is that each neuron, if you can almost imagine a neuron as its own entity, its own body, each neuron will have millions of receptors. And hovering around each neuron are millions of ligands, which are these little amino acids, like a part of a protein. And they’re all vibrating.
They’re all doing their own dance. And it has to be just the right match in order for the receptor, on the neuron to allow a ligand in.

[4:55] And when the ligand comes in, it’s so much like the sperm in an egg that the egg chooses and then receives.
It’s not the sperm who can bang its head against the egg as hard as possible.
It’s the egg will choose and then receive and draw in.
And then a message is received by the cell and a feeling is created.
So when we exercise, we’re releasing different endorphins that match the receptor sites, and then we’re changing the emotions that we are hosting. This is happening on a cellular level.
When we change our actions, when we change what we’re looking at, when we change what we’re listening to, when we choose what news we’re consuming or not to consume, the way we dress, the environment we’re in, the rest that we take or we don’t take, the exercise we do or we don’t do, the quality of our food. On a cellular level, we are changing what we are a host for and what we are not a host for. And I think for me, this begins to bring in the whole conversation about what are we a vibrational match for, but also the thing that I hear in the spiritual world so much and especially in the manifestation world, which is like raise your vibration.
And that for me, I find can be pretty triggering because I think about the times in which I.

[6:20] Oh gosh, was just down on my knees and not sure how to get through a day. And.

[6:28] If someone said, raise your vibration, then I might, man, I just might feel unworthy. I might feel unseen. I might feel like I’d have to neglect the parts of me that are feeling unmet.
And I just felt like one way that people approach this thing of raising your vibration is by bypassing their shadow emotions and trying to paint optimism over their unhealed wounds.
I would say though, to raise our vibration or to raise our frequency is to change the way our cells vibrate.
And beyond that is the energy that’s unseen, that magnetizes the ligands to the receptors, and all of the dimensions beyond that that are unseen.

Embracing Shadow Emotions and Meeting Unmet Needs

[7:21] So I would say instead of vibrating above it or to get that vibrational match we want, that instead we might pick up the innocent one that is sad, like that entity that’s visiting that’s sad or that’s angry and ask them what they need.

[7:40] We treat them as a guest knowing that it’s matching some part of us that has an unmet need that needs a boundary repair and that our lightness may come from the dance between choosing health and meeting the unmet parts of ourself, with that health so that there’s less stacking of heaviness of the past. We get to integrate the shadow and let it be seen and let it be part of the wisdom and let it be part of our ability to also have empathy and understanding for those around us and the parts within us.

[8:25] So this idea that feelings are an entity also really helps me because I have always been a person in the past and really current time that I’m working through this, who would love to not take anything personal.
I would love if I could just be unfazed by things that people say or do that come from their own wounds.
I would love if I could just quote-unquote rise above.
I really understand the concept from the Four Agreements that nothing is personal and from A Course in Miracles that you can be right or you can be happy.
There have been a few times when someone’s upset with me and I’m like, if I could just understand where they’re coming from and if I could just see how it’s possible that they could be right when I just can’t understand that yet, that would be so helpful.
I want to see how I’m wrong. I want to understand how they’re right and then I can be happy.
So now I can start to understand that it’s not that I just want to rise above the feelings, but I just want to have such a wide range of regulation and so many things that are filling me that nothing can touch me.
But I want to actually start honoring the feelings that are there without getting overly attached to them.
And I think that this is where the idea of it being an entity that is a match with a message is useful.

Honoring Feelings as Intelligent Entities

[9:54] Five years ago, I had a session with a therapist you said your emotions are intelligent.

[10:01] And although I always knew that my body was intelligent, or at least I had known for a good 20 years by that point, my body’s intelligence, my emotions, I was just like, I wish you could get on board with my mind and know that everything was okay, because if I have to honor anger or sadness, then I might have to have a conversation with somebody just that says, this is how I’m feeling, and it might trigger that person.
And now there might be conflict, now I might have to sit in a tension field of disease.
Like, not that it’s diseased, but a place of dysregulation and to be able to hold that, to have the capacity to hold that.
This is what I need to grow, want to grow into, the capacity to hold chaos, the capacity to be in the place where it’s unsure, not always just to be regulated.

[10:57] When I started really diving into the body more and into trauma resolution and somatics, I began to really understand that emotions are meant to be emoted.
They are meant to be in motion.

[11:16] So if my emotions are intelligent communication, then my anger, what does it need to communicate from my body? the outlets that have given it?
Is it communicating that I’ve had a boundary violation, that I need to take action, that something needs to go outward?
And sometimes when people feel anger, there’s a biological desire for fight or flight.
There’s a movement associated with it. And then as we grow and evolve, we might also realize that having anger might just mean that it’s time for us to stand up for ourselves, to set a boundary and become an activist, for ourselves or for people who do not have a voice or whose voices are not being heard.

[12:05] I wanna say again, it was probably a few years back when I first read David White’s take on anger.
David White is one of my favorite poets and philosophers.
And here’s a small clip from what he wrote on anger. Anger is the deepest form of compassion for another, for the world, for the self, for a life, for the body, for a family, and for all our ideals, all vulnerable, and all possibly about to be hurt.

[12:42] So to summarize that, anger is the deepest form of compassion for that which we deeply care about and is possibly about to be hurt.
He continues to say, stripped of physical imprisonment, so that idea that we have anger that we’re not able to move, stripped of physical imprisonment and violent reaction, anger is the purest form of care.
The internal living flame of anger always illuminates what we belong to, what we wish to protect, and what we are willing to hazard ourselves for.
What we usually call anger is only what is left of its essence when it reaches the lost surface of our mind, or our body’s incapacity to hold it, or the limits of our understanding.
So when the internal living flame that illuminates what we belong to becomes lost in our ability to understand it.

[13:46] If our body can’t hold it, if our minds can’t comprehend, then we just get this buildup in our body, and it can come out sideways.
I can think recently, my husband and I got into this little tiff and it’s like, we started playing pickleball together to just show you like how, I could say how small of a thing and our energy is on the court.
Oh my God, it’s not good. It wasn’t fun.
And we were like angry for a bit after.

Small triggers can uncover old patterns, requiring self-reflection.

[14:18] And it wasn’t so much even what happened on the court, it’s like our response together.
And it’s like these really young parts of ourselves, these really old patterns that come up against each other.
And I’m saying this because it’s like, I think that I have years of introspective practice.

[14:39] And I would love to think of myself is just way more evolved than this.
And so it’s like both aggravating and it’s aggravating when something so silly and so benign, feel seemingly so benign can trigger me.
And then if I go to the anger, I could say, well, these are the boundaries that were violated, but then I’m pointing a finger towards my husband and expecting something to change over there, which is not really the way the world works.

[15:13] So what I think is interesting is like, what could be a next step?
What could be a next step of helping to support myself when I see the entity, when I’m a proper host for it, when I can start to be inquisitive, what about my internal environment needs tending?
And most likely it’s a younger part of myself and needs tending, but I’m also really curious about this idea of taking an archetype and beginning to embody that archetype to choose, have a little bit more choice in what environment I’m creating.

Emotions are entities, and we are the receptor sites.

[15:56] And I bring this up because the day before I woke up from my sleep having this idea that emotions our entities unto themselves, almost like the emotions are the ligands and we are the receptor sites that we have to be a match for.

[16:15] The day before I was listening to a podcast by the 12th house. Their podcast was aired on the 27th.
We had spoken about doing a podcast exchange and so I wanted to listen a little bit more. What do they represent? What do they talk about? Is this a good fit? And I loved this episode and I will post a link in the show notes because I think that you most likely if you’re listening to this, you would enjoy their episode on this too. And it was all about embodying certain archetypes.
So the theory from this podcast is that if we feel stuck, it’s only because we’re only able to see through a certain lens. And if we use an archetypical embodiment or a pattern from a certain archetype, it might help us to see things from another angle. It might help to trigger a or a little creativity.

[17:12] So they might say, what would this archetype dress like? What fragrance would they wear?
What would their desk look like? What would their home be filled with?
Who would they hang with? What type of food would they eat?
Where in the world would they live? What type of conversations do they have?
Do they dance? What music?
And as we start to create the environment outside of us and within us, we might begin to see new ways to a solution that we couldn’t see before.

Creating environments and embodying archetypes for personal growth.

[17:42] One example that Wallace gave, and Wallace is the producer of the show and co-hosts it often, she talked about the beginner’s mind. So she’s about to go back to school in September, and she wants to embody the beginner.
What would a beginner be like? What would it be like to not know the answer and to lean into the question more?

[18:05] And Michelle, the founder of Holisticism and the Leigh Blady of the 12th House podcast, talked about the kooky art aunt.
And I really love this one and I love the examples and how deeply they went into it.
So they’re saying, say you work a nine to five and you don’t think that the kooky aunt might work a nine to five, but you do and you want to keep it.
What would she do? How would you bring her in to your energy?
Would you invite that entity into you? Which means that you have to have a match for her in you somewhere. So what parts match? And then from that match, I’m just going to kind of use my own words from that match, you’re going to begin to accelerate and expand that part of you.

[18:57] So, they gave examples of the Kuki art aunt would give your niece or nephew their first tarot deck and that lady might have her own deck at her desk and she might have a crystal on her desk.
And I’ll add, I imagine she would be drinking water infused with lemon and mint.
I imagine that she would have her astrological charts read that would help her navigate the workplace and her love life.
They suggested she might sprinkle flower seeds on the grass on the way to work.
I love that. It reminds me of the Lupin lady.

[19:40] And she might eat her lunch outside instead of inside. And then they said when somebody writes a nasty email, she might giggle and be like, what’s for this person?
And then send something that’s like more artistic and kooky, but also I’m gonna say a poignant, like a playful poignant response, which brings me to another archetype that they’re diving into, which is the creative pragmatist.
So if you’re super pragmatic, you might start to lean into what would the creative side of me want?
And how would the creative side of me dress? And what would the creative side of me want to use for oils on my body or how I do my hair?
And if you already feel pretty creative, but it’s hard to keep the details together, you can start to lean into like, what would that really detail-oriented part of myself look like?
And maybe if you have like a wild style, like maybe you’d bring some pragmatism into it.
So you’re starting to weave these two together.

Integrating different archetypes for a balanced and vibrant life.

[20:46] At the end, Wallace mentioned that there are days where it’s hard for her to, like that she likes to move for 30 minutes a day.
And some days she might feel a little flat about exercising or eating the things that would really give her energy and clarity.
So she’d say, if I have an archetype that represents my highest mental and physical health, and I start to call them in and I say, what would that archetype do?
I’m just trying to think like, who would that be? Like, what’s an example?
I’m wondering if any examples are coming to your mind of someone who is really caring about their health and their wellbeing, and it seems healthy, and they seem vibrant.

[21:34] I’m actually, in this very moment, I’m thinking of Elena Brower.
I’ve also, but sometimes with my workouts, I like them to be a little bit more rigorous.
So I’m gonna say Jen Hunter, who will come on this podcast.
She’s such like an embodiment of fun and joy and health and fitness.
And that’s why I could say like, what would Jen Hunter do in this moment?
And so Wallace says, this helps to then motivate her and just fine tune that part that’s already in her, to fulfill that part of herself.
So I love the word to amplify.
This is a word that’s really been on the forefront of my mind recently, to amplify.
So you have to have the match in you somewhere. It’s not faking who you are.
You are amplifying the energy of the time.

[22:28] Music.

[22:35] If you are feeling depleted today or even if you’re feeling well, I want to offer you my free program called 21 Days of Untapped Support. What this means is that you’re tapping into resources that are all around you, possibly within you, that could help shift the equation of stability, means more resources than demands. So some resources we look for depend on our financial state. If I have more money I could afford a babysitter. If I have more money I could afford better health insurance. I could afford to go to the retreat. I could afford to take that program. And it becomes very dependent.

[23:22] 21 days of untapped support begins to look at what resources are already there, already in front of me, around me, inside of me that I can tap into. I’ve put this program together as small doable pieces of nervous system support. I’ve also taken it myself. When I first launched it I took it myself and each day I thought man this is an awesome reminder and so useful today and I would even say as you take it, if it’s serving you, you could do it on repeat because again it’s free and it’s digestible and it’s highly useful. So check out the show notes at the bottom and go ahead and sign up if it feels like it’s calling to you in in any way.

[24:12] Music.

Embracing and navigating through different emotional states

[24:20] Say sadness is with you and it’s visited for a day or I’m thinking of a time in my life where grief was with me for quite a long time and I feel like there’s some health to having an emotion, pendulate like visit and then maybe the state changes and you can almost imagine, like the river of life where things can you can have more energy and then less energy and so your environment would change a little bit throughout the day. And I can think of, yeah, a time of deep grief where I hadn’t, it was like 10am and I hadn’t yet taken, put real clothes on, like I was still in my pajamas and I hadn’t really made myself a shake or a smoothie and my daughter’s kind of just waiting around for me. And so I chose to change my state so that I would no longer be the environment that grief needed.
And I’ll say that I’ve given myself and had given myself so many times to deeply embody grief and be with it and let what’s in me flow out of me and have that emote.
But there was a time where it’s like, okay, not now. And so I got to change my state, and I was no longer a proper match for it in that moment.
And it doesn’t mean forever.

[25:45] Now, if I were to stay forever, like a seeming forever with sadness or with grief, then maybe there would be a part of me that then would also become a host for resentment.
Like I will never, like these all or nothing statements might start coming, I will never be able to be happy. That isn’t even possible.
Who does she think she is to have all these things?
That’s not possible for everybody. Why did they even post these things on Instagram?
You know, just, I can start to get into a place of resentment, jealousy, anger, sadness, and I can stay there so long that I might think that the feelings are me, and it might be hard to differentiate.
So I think this is just another time that it’s useful, and I think oftentimes we’re here, It’s nice to maybe have a friend who can really say, like, God, I see this.
I really see this. I understand why you’re in pain. Of course you’re in pain.
Pain is visiting you.
You’re a match for pain now. You get this message. You get this lesson of empathy, And it’s true.
And it’s not you.

Relationships as separate entities and seeking ideal archetypes

[26:57] Before I move on to speak about the next part where I kind of want to pull all the things together, I want to also say that what kind of pose a question, what other things could be entities, like our emotions could be entities. But then when we come into a relationship with somebody, the way we relate to one another can be its own entity. It’s almost like its own person.
And so for a relationship, I was just speaking to my husband the other night about this, like for a relationship, what archetype would you want for your relationship if it’s its own entity? And we were really like thinking and searching around and we couldn’t quite find a real life example. And I don’t know if anyone here watches Outlander and he’s like, what about the couple on Outlander, Jamie and Claire. I was like, yeah, that’s so good because they both have.

[27:55] Anger and they both have passion and joy and love, but like their love for each other is just so deep and true and gets through all the hard moments. And yeah, I was like, God, that’s a good one.
And in episode three of this podcast, I brought up the idea of the reticular formation of just when we start to ask a question or get curious about something, the gatekeeper to our experience and the gatekeeper to what we can see, the reticular formation in the base of our brainstem begins to open up to search for that answer or for the possibilities to our questions.
So if it’s like, what would this archetype do? Then we start looking and seeking out, in this example, couples. That would be a great fit. It might be that I want a certain, like I know I want a friendship group. Is that even possible? What does that look like? And I start looking outside of myself. I start dreaming inside of myself and my reticular formation will start picking up evidence that it exists.

[29:11] And it had always existed. These things have always existed, except that our perceptions get narrower and narrower as we get older, often, unless we are purposely engaging with life with more curiosity, or maybe you’re a person who inherently continues to question your ways.

[29:35] This is one last thing that I’m going to add to the idea of the entities, which is, I was talking to Amelia Hruby, who is the editor of Threshold Moments podcast and the founder of Softer Sounds. And she was sharing with me that sometimes she thinks about a podcast that’s its own entity. And I love this idea. She mentioned you could get an astrological reading for your for your podcast of when was its inception?
And yeah, I wonder like, could this also be true for relationships?
How many different things could we look at as entities and the way that they match and mix and come into and out of relationship with each other?
I want to now kind of think about like, how can we put this together and in order?
And before I do that, I wanna say that I also just saw Tiffany Carter, who is a business and money mindset coach and podcaster, who you can find at project underscore with underscore Tiffany on Instagram.
And she talks about her normalization technique in which you would find evidence that you can have what you want.

[30:44] You can look at her, I’m like, I’m curious, like, oh, should I go into a description she gives, but maybe I’ll just work through this and see if it becomes pretty obvious.
So if there’s something that you think you can’t have, I’m gonna say that you would likely be jealous or envious or harshly judgmental of those who have what you think you can’t have, or maybe judgmental of yourself for not being able to have that thing.
She gives the example of walking by first class when she’s going on a really long flight and having to be twisted up in a yoga pose a tiny little seat for eight hours and thinking like, oh, who are these people in first class?
And I could never have that. And then getting kind of this glimmer of, oh, this is actually something I want and how can I make this possible?
So if we put together this idea of entities, archetypes, and the normalization technique, we come up with something that would look like this.

Steps to explore entities, archetypes, and manifestation

[31:55] First, you notice that you’re hosting an entity. Oh, I’m a host for the entity of jealousy.
I wonder what part of my environment is temporarily a match.
What message does it have for me?

[32:11] And then step two is that, yeah, you ask for this message and you see and you listen.
Oh, jealousy is pointing me in the direction of what I want, but I think I can’t have.
I’m also noticing that there’s a fighter that’s online because I’m hosting scarcity.
But through this, I notice it’s pointing me in the direction of something I want.

[32:36] You could bring a little guy or Katie in, not to make it too complicated, when I say, but I think I can’t have, is that 100% true? And as soon as you realize that your.

[32:44] Limiting thought can’t be 100% guaranteed and you’re absolutely sure, then you get to question it more. Step three, after the message, is there an archetype that I could call in that would help to expand my curiosity and it would help me to figure out what environment I want to create both outside of me, you know, where I eat lunch, what’s on my desk, who I’m talking to, that would help me to be a match for the direction that I want to move in. And then Tiffany talks about making an evidence box, which, you know, we’ve all heard about making vision boards. Florent Schovel-Shinn always talks about the power, She says the word is our wand and so the power of our words, but the evidence box I’ve really loved too because it’s like this physical creation. If you talk about the seven chakras, which you’ll, you know, in the centering meditation, a few podcasts back, I talked about coming to your center through these seven chakras, but when you have an idea and you’re bringing it down through the levels into manifestation, into density. You take it from the crown chakra all the way down. Once you get to the first chakra, the base of your spine, this is where you’re bringing it out into the world. So to have a physical box that you’re collecting evidence in.

[34:13] I just love in a book that I believe is called Buddha’s brain. They talk about how our brain is wired to pick up evidence of threat and to remember the negativity, not the things that are super traumatic that gets numbed out often, but to be hyper aware of threats is a possibility because it’s a protective mechanism in our lizard brain. So collecting evidence that the world is working on our behalf, collecting evidence as we open up our reticular formation to curiosity and other possibilities, helps us to see over and over again like, oh, this could be for us.
You can begin to also write phrases that you would put into the box. I’ve said before, Bridget Vixen is often says, surprise and delight me or show me, show me evidence that I I am worthy of this thing.
Show me what it would look like to, in this case, ride first class, what it would feel like. I wonder.
I usually add, I wonder, and the phrase I wonder, I feel like it’s so additive and nutritious for the reticular formation and for the universe, just thinking about how to be a match.
And the phrases that I’ve heard from Tiffany is, That’s possible, that’s for me, there’s always a way.

[35:40] So step five, take action. The 12th house says we are becoming through our action.
Alchemical alignment, my ad also.

[35:52] Becoming through our stillness. So like also, what are we going to let go of? What are we not going to act on anymore? And then Tiffany added this really, um, it’s just so practical.
Google, like Google the questions, like who’s an amazing couple, uh, you know, or how do you, acquire points to drive, to ride first class? Like Google, um, ask questions, have conversations.
So let’s take action. And six, notice how this new entity that you are choosing to host, this new entity that you’re being a match for, that already you have that part inside of you, notice how it feels. Notice the inspiration. And you get to kind of feel now what that match feels like. And it becomes easier than to just like pendulate back into it when you want it.

[36:50] In the end, we can always come back to our center. Again, you can check out the centering mini-musing, I’ll link that in the notes.
You can feel into what is true for me, what is true for me now.
I will just say that my edge right now would be building my capacity to be with feelings that seem like they’re not spiritual.
That is a real edge for me. So I’m wondering, can I come up with a show me for that?
Show me evidence of a new way, a way that has clear boundaries and creative flow, a way with capacity for a range, one that has support, fun, and right relationships.
May I honor the unmet parts while also gathering evidence of health and fulfillment?
What parts of myself do I want to amplify?
Show me.
Also like, fun. What fun ways will I bring her to life? Show me.

[38:09] Mmm, beloved. I invite you to DM me @sarahtacyt on Instagram.

[38:19] Just talking about how we can only perceive through our own lens and often through projection, it’s so helpful for me to hear what lands for you. Or am I speaking in a way that it makes sense? How did it show up in your life? And when I get to hear other people’s stories of how this shows up from their lives or how it worked or didn’t work for them. It’s just like such good medicine for me and then you also get to be my teacher companion just via your sharing of your truth, your lived experience. So if you try out any of these things from the mini musings or you hear any of the podcast one, like, oh my God, please share with a friend. But also, I’m at a place and stage where I’m open to DMs right now so that I can learn through your experience if you’re willing to share with me. If you want to be notified when new podcasts come out, you can subscribe. And if you have anything kind to say that’s like, you know, when I talk about emotions, emoting, that would feel good to write about leaving a review is also super helpful so that more people who are looking for this type of work can find it and our community can grow if that is what the community is desiring or needing to do. Thank you so much for your time and I look forward to gathering again.

[39:47] Music.

[39:57] Thank you for tuning in. It’s been such a pleasure. If you’re looking for added support, I’m offering a program that’s totally free called 21 Days of Untapped, Support. It’s pretty awesome. It’s very easy. It’s very helpful. You can find it at sarahtacey.com and if you love this episode please subscribe and like, apparently it’s wildly useful so we could just explore what happens when you, scroll down to the bottom subscribe rate maybe say a thing or two if you’re not feeling it don’t do it it’s totally fine I look forward to gathering with you again. Thank you so much.

[40:38] Music.