050 – Jennifer Fox: Insights for Imbolc

Sarah Tacy [00:00:06]:
Hello. Welcome. I’m Sarah Tacy, and this is Threshold Moments, a podcast where guests and I share stories about the process of updating into truer versions of ourselves. The Path is Unknown, and the Pull Feels Real. Together, we share our grief, laughter, love, and life saving tools. Join us. Hello. Welcome to Threshold Moments.

Sarah Tacy [00:00:41]:
Today, we have with us Jennifer Fox. And I invited Jennifer here specifically to help introduce us to Imbolc. So this podcast goes live on January 30th. Imbolc is February 2nd in the Northern Hemispheres. Imbol to me. I’ll just say this here because I didn’t say on the podcast, is almost like the gestation phase where it’s still underground. The seeds of life are still soaking up nutrients from mother Sarah. And there’s a little bit of energy of something that’s about to become, but it has yet to be seen.

Sarah Tacy [00:01:23]:
And in a few months excuse me, a few weeks after Imbolc, if you were to tap a maple tree when everything still seem desolate. Very few to no birds, very few animals, very few sounds in nature. You could tap a tree and find out that the water, the sap, which in a maple tree is more like water, is running. Life is beginning to show itself. So for me, Imbolc is this little pulse of hope in a time where things are darker. So Jen has a ritual that she does that she introduced to me back in 2018. And when I asked Ron, I also remember that in 2018, she was 1 year away from the time in which her husband had a massive stroke. And there was a massive threshold for she and her husband individually and Collectively as a Unit.

Sarah Tacy [00:02:35]:
And so it’s 7 years since then. So she walks us through the threshold of allowing a life that you thought you were going to have dissolve for a life that has become. The conversation gives me a lot of hope. One, hope that when things get hard, that I could lean into the possibility of a greater plan. That when things seem impossible, that I could lean into the quote that she offered from Maya Angelou when things are or the sentiment, I should say, when things are so unknown that we could say thank you to the universe because it is giving us what is on our path for our own best unfolding. She also walks us through the path in her process of perimenopause and menopause and what’s on the other side. The relationship she has with her husband has been ongoing since the 2nd grade. I think officially dating since the age of 15.

Sarah Tacy [00:03:38]:
And so she shares with us how the maiden mother crone archetypes, the each stage of that, but then how within each stage, there are mini cycles of this life and death, of this young energy becoming, this mothering, nurturing, and the fading away. For me, this is a story of hope. For me, this is a cur story of love, of courage. And as we enter February, also really aware, I’d like the theme of this February podcast for Threshold Moments to be around what is love? What does it look like in a really long term relationship? What does it look like when we’ve decided to let go in a relationship because that is the truth for our sovereignty? What does it look like when we’ve decided to change what love could look like, or maybe not love, but our relations. And so having Jen today is such an honor Because There Are Elements of Imbolc, of relational love, of self love, and it just feels like perfect timing. So without further ado, Jennifer Fox. Welcome to Threshold Moments. Today, we have with us Jennifer Fox.

Sarah Tacy [00:05:06]:
I first met Jen in a witch’s class that she was guiding back in 2018, which was a time in my life that was a pretty pretty deep, somewhat dark transition. And so there were these Wednesday night classes, and I would say it was kind of before the word witch got really popular. And so when I saw that somebody was offering a witch’s class. And I have in my lineage a number of them that were involved in the witch trials, which I know were not all actually aligned with the ones who were medicine women and herbalists, but there was just this deep calling to be there. And we learned songs, and we learned about, I would say, the quarter and cross quarter holidays. And one of those being Imbolc. And this podcast is coming out on January 30th. And Jen came to mind.

Sarah Tacy [00:06:13]:
And I wonder if she’d be able to or willing to share anything about Imbolc and the practice that she offered at that time. And then in my remembering of where she was at that phase, I

Jennifer Fox [00:06:26]:
I wonder if she’d

Sarah Tacy [00:06:27]:
be willing to share anything more about her threshold and soon realized that we probably had multiple episodes worth of beautiful reflective conversations that we might be able to have Together. So without further ado, this will not be a mini musing. This will be a full episode. I’d like to introduce Jen Fox. And welcome. Thank you for being here.

Jennifer Fox [00:06:52]:
Thank you for having me. I’m honored.

Sarah Tacy [00:06:56]:
I am wondering if you would be able to say a thing or two about what first brought your awareness 2 in bulk and perhaps cross quarter holidays. I kinda would almost, like, gather this together of, like, women’s circles, Witches’ Circles in bulk. And on Instagram, I think it’s Peaceful Pagan. What was your path into that?

Jennifer Fox [00:07:25]:
Well, I could say that I’ve I mean, I’ve always known that I was a nature girl ever since I was a little girl. I was brought up Catholic. And Catholics make wonderful witches because they do so many rituals and that’s just kind of the way it goes. But I would say 16 was really when I started to dive deeper into the metaphysical. And the town that I grew up in. We had a little metaphysical shop, and I’d go in there and there was tarot readers and crystals, and I I felt like this was really fun and exciting, but then there was also a little bit of an inauthenticity to it for me. I mean, at a very young age, I understood why do I need to go to a shop to find my wares when I can look outside? And I Find Them. I find my dried yarrow.

Jennifer Fox [00:08:28]:
I find my dried sunflowers, all these things that I can burn and use in my rituals. So I went very natural and very solitary for a very, very long time because calling yourself a witch. Even to this day, I get kind of laughed at a little bit, but I’m wholeheartedly A Witch. And I define that by my earth based spirituality. I am not Wiccan. I I find my source, my divine energy, spirit, whatever you wanna call it, in nature. And the cycles of nature speak to me. A lot of faiths, especially the Christian faiths, have used our dates.

Jennifer Fox [00:09:20]:
So you’ll see that a lot of the holidays fall on the pagan Sabots. And the Sabots are 8 days during the year that are our high practice. And so when I started doing ritual, I mean, very, very young age, and Imbolc was always my favorite. Imbolc, If you can think of the expression, I’m big metaphor persons, it’s the yawn and the stretch. And it’s not the you know, some people call it the quickening. For me, it’s the yawn and the stretch of waking up. So imagine when you come out of bed and the first thing you do is you just put those arms over your head and you’re just like, I’m here. I’m awake.

Jennifer Fox [00:10:15]:
So now what? And that’s the energy of Imbolc for me. It’s It’s almost even before the beginning. It’s the eyes and the stretch and the opening Of Wonder and What Can Become. But you haven’t even thought about that yet.

Sarah Tacy [00:10:35]:
So from the winter solstice until Imbolc. In our Western society, largely, that is new year, new you. And I know that’s been largely debunked. And I know that many people would say, no. This is a time for going inward. There was a new moon on January 11th this year, which may have brought some of that new energy. What does that period look like for you between winter solstice. So for some people, that might look like the holidays and then New Year’s Eve until February 1st, February 2nd for IMBLEC.

Jennifer Fox [00:11:15]:
What it looks like for me, because I don’t like to preach that this is the way Or this is the way it should be. The way I practice it is the solstice for me is a time of bringing people together. It’s being warm together. It’s sharing. And then that and then that goes away. Then we come into the dark space of January is really kind of the darkest. Even though the light is returning, for me, the darkest part is January. It’s a time of reflection.

Jennifer Fox [00:11:48]:
I understand the whole new year, new me. I look at that as a time of reflection. If I’m having an idea in my head that says, you know, I really would like to exercise more, I’m gonna start now. I look at this as something that my soul, my body is saying I should look into, but don’t, You don’t have to get it today. Just put it in your head that this is something that you wanna see for yourself. I think the thing is the pressure of new me, new year. We put so much pressure that we’re not enough or that we’re not whole and that we need to add something to our lives to make us better. I don’t subscribe to that at all.

Jennifer Fox [00:12:27]:
I think awareness, what can I be more aware of that I would like to add into my life? And I think often As, you know, we’re gardens. We’re soy our soil. So what do we need to amend in our life, amend in our soil to be have have a richer produce come forward come come the growing months. And I just take it as an opportunity to bring more awareness to myself and my personal needs and wants.

Sarah Tacy [00:12:57]:
Thank you. I love Taking Away the Pressure. Before we got on the call, I pulled from the wild unknown archetypes deck this card of the mountain. And there was a suggestion of looking up Mary Oliver’s Poem. And I think it was something about, like, the poet and the mountain. And the essence of it that I got was, like, may I spend a lifetime On the Mountain. Like, not rushing to the top. May I lay under the pines? And so what I’m hearing is, like, there may be this.

Sarah Tacy [00:13:34]:
I’m walking towards the mountain, and this is more about, like, what’s inside than a peak or a pit, at the pace. And she’s like, a tree is not rushed. And I hear you saying that Mhmm. Nature is your guide. Nature is where you feel Resourced by. And I’m appreciating this idea that you could have a thought of what you’d like And. That the yawn before you even get out of bed, like, if you were really stretched out in the process, the yawn is not even happening until February. And that we could give ourselves that much time to let it unfold and keep envisioning it and imagining what’s possible.

Jennifer Fox [00:14:19]:
Yeah. The idea too of, like, what just popped into my head of goals and intentions is what’s behind the goal and what’s behind the intention. You know, we can have this is probably a totally different podcast, but you can have everything you want in life. You just probably can’t have it all at the same time. And recognizing that you may have your business at 60 years old, what and you’re gonna raise your kids right now or vice versa. You maybe you can have it all And and manage it, but allowing yourself to have space to do something well.

Sarah Tacy [00:14:51]:
Thank you.

Jennifer Fox [00:14:52]:
Yeah.

Sarah Tacy [00:14:53]:
I say thank you because I’m like, oh, I just really needed to hear that. So will you share a little bit about your Imbolc rituals. And I would say for any of the listeners that some of this could be if it you know, only, of course, if it feels like, yes, something that you could possibly also add into your life if it feels like a full body yes.

Jennifer Fox [00:15:19]:
So my favorite ritual to do on Imbolc is writing myself a letter. And I write myself a letter, So a year in advance. So I’ll write the letter and date it. This year will be February 1, 2025, and then I’ll open it. So I’m reading to myself the beauty that I have accomplished, for lack of a better word, throughout the year. And so and I speak to myself. So dear Jen and it’s always positive. What would I write to my best friend? What would I write to my sister? What would I write to my daughter? How would I hold this in people that I hold tenderly.

Jennifer Fox [00:16:04]:
I hold myself in the same way.

Sarah Tacy [00:16:07]:
Would you be willing to read one of your in bulk letters to us?

Jennifer Fox [00:16:11]:
Well, I happen to have 1 right here, so, yes, I will. Okay. So I found this. We are in the middle of moving And so I wasn’t sure if I was gonna be able to find mine, but I found it. So here we go. Dear Jen, 2023. Wow. What an incredible year of growth.

Jennifer Fox [00:16:31]:
You’ve accomplished so many things, but the most important thing that you did was found Time to Get Lost in Creativity. One of the most important things also that you did this year was to make the decision to move or to stay put in your home. Your decision has given you clarity and vision for years to come. How brave you are to see all these things through and make those hard decisions that feel really scary. You are so good at seeing the big picture and trusting your inner knowing. I have no doubt that your choice in this matter will bear you so much fruit. I love you, Jen. Thank you for trusting the process of life.

Jennifer Fox [00:17:08]:
That’s it.

Sarah Tacy [00:17:09]:
I am just beepy today Because I also hear that you’re in the process of moving, so it sounds like you did

Jennifer Fox [00:17:18]:
make a We made a decision. And the way I wrote that Was because I didn’t know the decision. I didn’t know what we were gonna do. I didn’t know if we were gonna stay in our house. I didn’t know if we were going to move. And so I Sarah, just the decision. I didn’t put an outcome because then that it’s the energy that I wanna feel. It’s not like I’m so glad that you just made, you know, you know, this amount of money profits on your business.

Jennifer Fox [00:17:46]:
It’s not that. It’s not that detailed. It’s really what’s the energy that you wanna bring forward into your life? And it’s love. Well, for me, it’s self love. It’s trust in the process, and it’s trust in my inner knowing. It’s the things that I have been working on my entire life. And then when you make big decisions in your life like that and I also too, let me add, I write this letter to me. This is not about my husband’s life.

Jennifer Fox [00:18:18]:
It’s not about my children’s life. This is about me in my life. So I don’t write that my children are gonna be successful in school or my husband’s gonna get promoted in his job or he’s going to finally take some time off. It’s not that. That’s his letter. It’s very much about how I’m moving through this Sarah plane and this Sarah school and how do I want to take it in.

Sarah Tacy [00:18:42]:
I’m wondering if this would be a nice place to then add in. So first, I’m hearing this letter is a sovereign letter. I can hear in your letter when you say thank you so much for, 1, you see the big picture and you trust your inner knowing. So I really hear that self love, that inner trust in there. And I’m thinking about the synchronicity of when we first met. It was in bulk 2018, and that was a 1 year anniversary in which There Was a Relational Fields. And there is one other element that I wanted some consistency for the February podcast, like moving into February and February being the many ways that there is sovereignty and interconnectedness and relationships. So the variety of ways in which we can find ourselves and be true to ourselves within relationships, or maybe it’s leaving relationships, or maybe it’s adding new elements to a relationship.

Sarah Tacy [00:19:52]:
And so this feels like perhaps a really beautiful time to tap into your process of the relational field at the time of IMBLET, but truly just the threshold of what was happening around this time.

Jennifer Fox [00:20:10]:
In 2018 for me and my husband. So our dream was coming true. We had this plan That we were going to be buying a small little house in Nosara, Costa Rica, and we were going to rent it out for 4 years until our daughter graduated high school. And then we were gonna be going part time and going into the beach and surfing and yoga. And we’re we were truly on our path. And we had it mapped out, and we were doing a great job. So we went under contract in a house in Nosar, Costa Rica 2017. And husband is coming back home, gets into a small car accident on the way to the airport from Nosara to the airport.

Jennifer Fox [00:20:55]:
No big deal. Come home. And then 4 days later, he has a massive stroke. We’ll never know what happened. We don’t know if it was from the Whipple Ash. We don’t know CrossFit. You know? We don’t know. So January 31st.

Jennifer Fox [00:21:09]:
He’s making a hamburger. And all of a sudden, he has this, like, feeling like a flame shooting through his nose. And my husband, let’s just Tacy, he’s an ER physician, so he understands this, what’s going on. And I see him doing self tests. Was walking around the living room and he’s going like this, and he’s doing this balance thing. And I’m like, my husband being an ER physician, he doesn’t get nervous about things, But I could see something was not right. So he says, I don’t know. I don’t think I’m okay.

Jennifer Fox [00:21:40]:
So I said, let’s Get into the car. We’re going to the hospital. So he already had an idea of what was going on. Goes to the hospital. He stayed in the hospital. They can see that he had a minor stroke. Stays in the hospital for about 6 hours and then they send him home. That night he has the massive stroke.

Jennifer Fox [00:22:01]:
So he’s crawling out of bed, making sounds, crawling on the floor. He I call 911. They come in, but he doesn’t wanna disturb the kids because he’s doesn’t want them to see him that way. So he’s trying to crawl down STAIRS. The EMTs finally get in. I say to the girls because they’re screaming. And at this point, my daughter’s Sarah 17 years old and my youngest is 13. And they say, is daddy gonna die? And I said, I don’t know, but I have to go.

Jennifer Fox [00:22:34]:
I have to go. So we go to the hospital and he is having a full blown stroke. He is lost his ability to walk. He had a paralyzed vocal cord. He couldn’t swallow. So start to finish is in the hospital for 4 weeks. In between that time, we had to cancel, you know, the Costa Rica that was, like, not in our plan in the cosmic plan. So we canceled that.

Jennifer Fox [00:23:04]:
And in that time, I remember what came to me. One, I was so grateful for my faith because I understand things happen and things go Naturally, things aren’t always they don’t always work right. But I remember this one quote from Maya Angelou. And I remember waking up, and I looked out the window, and she said, if you don’t know what’s going on, you don’t know what to do, your confused and scared. Say thank you. Because spirit, she would say, Jesus, our preparing you for your life’s work. And I just got goosebumps talking about this Because I knew it was made for it, and I knew my husband was made for it too. And I knew that we were gonna however this gonna end up because he had 2 weeks that the clot was still there.

Jennifer Fox [00:24:03]:
And if it didn’t dissipate, most likely, it wasn’t gonna end well. The journey started mostly when he came home. And this was a man that was a surfer, CrossFit comp competitor, top of his game in his practice, And he couldn’t walk, and he had to use a walker, and he couldn’t see straight. He couldn’t drive. He had to take a driving test again when he was finally able to drive. And it was the dismantling of himself too, of who am I? Who am I without my ability to work? Who am I without the ability to SURF. He’s been surfing since he’s 12 years old. I mean, that is a spiritual thing when you are a surfer.

Jennifer Fox [00:24:50]:
And witnessing my husband go through that. Now I’ve been with my husband. We met in 2nd grade. We’ve been together dating since we’re 15 years old. Like the most boring, like, sex life you can ever imagine. But it’s it’s like, that’s it. But, like, that’s it it’s just him and I. And To watch him be the football lacrosse surfer, skateboarder to a guy in bed that just Every day to get up.

Jennifer Fox [00:25:21]:
It was deeply moving on many, many levels. And to watch him recover from that, it was truly a sight to behold and humbled me that I was married to such a tremendous human. That’s the story, but there’s so many layers of love to it. So, like, I mean, I could go on forever about Love was the entire process here. Love was the entire energy of when you say your vows and, you know, sickness and health, what does that really mean? And when everything literally 4 days before his stroke, We were on a completely different trajectory. And how in how to come to that place of surrender And the acknowledgement that things are not in your control. The only thing you can control is what comes out of your mouth And what goes in your mouth? That is it.

Sarah Tacy [00:26:25]:
When you have the spiritual practice where life takes this 180. And there’s no known outcome where there was a plan before and now the plans are, like, No Longer There, the ability to identify with the things that once brought each of you to a place of probably feeling alive. Like, I could say identity, but I also assume that surfing and working out are also ways to change one’s state and to feel and flow and to have those taken away. And I hear you talking about love the idea of saying thank you. And I’m wondering if there’s room or where grief comes in.

Jennifer Fox [00:27:12]:
Yeah. Well, and that is so important, Sarah. So I appreciate you bringing grief because grief is Grief is a partner in it, and and it’s an ally. If we don’t if we don’t flow through the grief And and hold on to what was and what you thought was going to be and honor that and and say, you know, I don’t know everything. There were so many state different parts of the grief. So grief was saying goodbye to the dreams. There was grief in seeing my husband desperate and with no way out, and there was nothing I could do

Sarah Tacy [00:27:57]:
with that.

Jennifer Fox [00:27:58]:
It was his body healing, it was time, and it was grace. Grief. If you go through grief properly and you walk with it and you hold it And you say, okay. I know that you wanna be my partner right now, and I’m not gonna push you away. I think grief turns into acceptance, and it turns into understanding, and it turns into Allowing Things to Become. I’m so blessed by the life that I have. My grief was traveling to Nosara for the month of February for 5 years. And I know not everybody can breathe like that, but I had to say goodbye to that dream because it’s no longer our dream.

Jennifer Fox [00:28:54]:
My husband’s still cancer, And he has vestibular issues that it he cannot be in water and it moving like this. He just can’t. You know, he would come to visit and we mountain bike, But it’s not the same. So but I needed to spend and do my grieving of what was. And I’m not there this year because we’re building a new house. And if I sit with the grief of what was And what we thought was gonna be, I’m so glad we didn’t buy a place in Nosara. I mean, I’m so happy that things didn’t turn out that way because there’s a whole world to explore. And I think that if we had a place there, Our world actually would have gotten smaller.

Jennifer Fox [00:29:49]:
So I’m okay with things that had shifted, and my husband is okay too. Yeah. And so it’s the trust in that the wind and here’s my metaphors. You wear a sailboat. The where the wind’s picking up. Do you stay on there or do you say, okay. You know, the wind’s gonna take me here. I might as well put up my sail and just trust where I’m going, Where It Wants to Take Me.

Jennifer Fox [00:30:18]:
And I think that’s that’s the way we took it.

Sarah Tacy [00:30:21]:
There was this other part of your story that we Kind of Name, but Didn’t Really, which was you saying at 43. This was a conversation we had just before this, that you were in your prime and everything was going how you’d want it to, and you had your friend circles. So this is the other part about perhaps the grieving or the outlet or perhaps the spiritual place to fall back into or the nature is how these practices that you had set up ahead of time or these friend groups ahead of time, how they played in to the process that you then had with yourself and your husband.

Jennifer Fox [00:31:00]:
Well, that’s interesting that you say that. So if I can go back a little bit when we talked about, you know, off the recording, we were talking about perimenopause and menopause. I said 43 was, like, before I hit perimenopause, I was, like, on fire. I was, like, I I got this. I finally felt here in so many things. I was I had my witch circles. I had big following on my Facebook page. I was doing a ton of things, being asked to do things for witch stuff, and, I felt like I was in the zone.

Jennifer Fox [00:31:34]:
And when the stroke happened, so then I was 45, That sent me into perimenopause. So there’s a belief that if there’s a traumatic event in your life, usually happening in your late thirties or your forties, mid forties. Your body quickly goes into this perimenopause. It shuts down. It Sarah, no more babies. And once that ship has sailed and has left the harbor, you are in perimenopause. It doesn’t come back. You don’t come back.

Jennifer Fox [00:32:08]:
And I felt I was in such tremendous stress. And the way Perry showed up for me was 6 weeks after Tim’s stroke. And it was very, very interesting how mine showed up. The first thing was I would have bouts of vertigo. It’s very similar to what my husband was going through. He was very dizzy. He couldn’t walk straight. And can this happen to me? I’m having vertigo.

Jennifer Fox [00:32:41]:
Am I having a stroke? Like, all these things that were and then and it lasted for 7 years, and the perimenopause lasts for 7 years. And in between that time, oh, was I angry. And and I think I had used the words, you know, my inner fires. Like, I was volcanic, not just in hot flashes, but I was volcanic in Our political systems of the patriarch in so many things, and that was probably The anger of the stroke was probably in all of that. And it sent my body Through this journey, which I’m on the other side of it now, 18 months without a period. So wow. I think of myself at 43 to now 52, and really liked my 43 year old self. I loved her.

Jennifer Fox [00:33:40]:
She’s fabulous. She’s wonderful. She had so much energy. She was like, I could make a retreat like that. Like boom. Boom. Boom. Think like, just the creative juices were flowing.

Jennifer Fox [00:33:50]:
Spirit was, like, zooming downloads everywhere. 7 years of Dismantling. I call it, like, going into the primordial ooze, going into that cocoon of, I didn’t wanna see anybody. I didn’t want to do women circles anymore. I couldn’t listen to anybody complaining about anything. And at this stage of my life now, I sit back more and instead of jumping in, sit more. And I’m and I just say that they’re going to come to their moment. I can do nothing to help them.

Jennifer Fox [00:34:24]:
They have to go through it.

Sarah Tacy [00:34:25]:
It sounds to me like, no, I needed to go inside.

Jennifer Fox [00:34:29]:
100%. And I think what’s going on in the perimenopause space is that you are greeting your maiden and your mother and your sisterhood with them, healing all of those wounds, coming in as a crone, healing those wounds that nobody else can. It’s between the maiden, the mother, and the crone. And the crone is awakening, and She’s holding the 2 girls together, and that’s the sisterhood that I needed.

Sarah Tacy [00:34:58]:
Wow.

Jennifer Fox [00:34:58]:
It Can look very different for other people, and I would never say what other people and how they should go through things because it’s it is that self inquiry an understanding that whatever you need in that time is what you need. There’s no prescription. There is no panacea, and you technically do it on your own because nobody’s inside of you. Everybody’s perimenopause looks very, very different.

Sarah Tacy [00:35:29]:
I thought it was so interesting when you described this fire in you. And I have not passed through this threshold yet. And I was hearing a few side by sides, which was I understand that a lot of women get really hot getting the hot glasses, But then I also heard that emotional fire. And I’m not saying that they happen at the same time, but what I really hear from you is that emotional fire. And I was like, woah. You know, I don’t know if there’s any correlation, but all the burning you’re doing of perhaps where we thought we were, like, sourcing our worth from or the wounds that came before. And I have heard a number of women speak about how much more comfortable they are in their skin on the other side. Could you say a thing or two about how you feel on the other side?

Jennifer Fox [00:36:22]:
I love my body. I gave birth so well. I’m so strong. Like, I physically like, I I’m like, I shit mountain biking. And it’s like I’m like, look at this. I’m so grateful. Like, I I have arthritis in my lower back. I have arthritis in my neck, my knee.

Jennifer Fox [00:36:44]:
I did a booty yoga class the other day, and I was the oldest one in there. What the hell is that? Right? Like, I I sat there and I was like I was in the 2nd row because I didn’t know what I was doing. And all these girls in their short shorts, they just look beautiful. They’re just beautiful. All different shapes, sizes. And the the only thing that came to my mind was Look at all their collagen. I’m so lucky to have so much collagen. They don’t recognize it.

Jennifer Fox [00:37:13]:
Collagen is so wonderful. Mhmm. Did the body yoga and I felt like it was a spiritual experience. I was flapping my behind around. I was doing the best that we could with the arthritis I have in my back. This time, I was like, no. Look at you showing up and trying something totally different and having a blast. Things are fun.

Jennifer Fox [00:37:38]:
Not they’re not serious. I’m not trying to gain anything out of anything. I’m trying to live. I wanna experience and live and criticism of self has no space in living, so I just don’t do that anymore. I don’t do it.

Sarah Tacy [00:37:55]:
I’m just gonna repeat that. Criticism of self has no space in living.

Jennifer Fox [00:38:02]:
Facts. And catch yourself. Like, when you catch yourself and you’re like, that one kind I would never think that of my friend, of my children. And those voices don’t really come up anymore. I’m sure that for some people they do, but For me, it doesn’t. I know that I take care of myself, and I’m doing the best that I can, and that’s it. If the way my body wants to go down, wants to go down, then that’s great, but I’m gonna love it. I don’t wanna wear my bikini.

Jennifer Fox [00:38:38]:
Yeah. I had an experience

Sarah Tacy [00:38:40]:
this year of going back to Costa Rica, not having been there for 10 years, having had Children In Between. And I don’t I heard you describe how you felt at 43. I’m not sure I felt that way where I’m like, I could put a workshop together. I could I have so much energy down. Like, I’m not sure I’ve had fully that since having kids. So I remember my pre kids self. Maybe the way that you remember your 43 year old self. And, like, wow.

Sarah Tacy [00:39:07]:
She had so much energy. Holy shit. She like, could she just create and make things happen. And and so going back to Costa Rica 10 years later, similar like, I was looking at all these young people with so

Jennifer Fox [00:39:20]:
much collagen.

Sarah Tacy [00:39:24]:
The theme of self love came up. And Before we started talking here, I told you that I was reading a book by Bell Hooks, and it’s called All About Love. And she has a little section on self love. And so much of how she defines love in general is It’s how we show up. Like, love is as love does is what I said to you. And, maybe I’ll read another quote or 2. When we are loving, we openly and honestly express care, affection, responsibility, commitment, and trust. And so if that were to myself, when I am loving myself, I openly and honestly express care, affection, responsibility, commitment, and trust.

Sarah Tacy [00:40:11]:
And another one that she says is, love is the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own and another spiritual growth. To even bring this as a full circle back to the essay that you wrote a year after Your Husband’s Stroke. Because I hear so much of love is what love does, and I hear so much of extending oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own and another spiritual growth. And perhaps to close out the perimenopause into menopause. Wanting to just name that it sounds like both you and your husband were going through almost, like, parallel perimenopause and menopause periods together in which men sometimes don’t have as clear of a threshold

Jennifer Fox [00:41:07]:
Mhmm.

Sarah Tacy [00:41:07]:
That life gave you both simultaneous thresholds of what you call, I think, the primordial ooze together, to walk through it together. And, again, with leading up to the month of February, and I often see it as a real time of inquiring into relationships. I’m wondering if you wanna read any part of the essay, or you can just say something. You don’t even have to read it. Just say something about self love and love.

Jennifer Fox [00:41:41]:
I think the thing is in a long partnership, you know, the epic story of love. It is the maiden mother crone story. I don’t know if they have that for a man, But let’s say they do. Just add it for a man. There is the sweetness, there is the creating together, and there’s the dismantling, the dying, And then doing it all over again because it’s a cycle. So we we live maiden mother crone over and over and over in our lives. That’s the the birth, life, death cycle. It can happen in a day.

Jennifer Fox [00:42:27]:
So for my husband’s stroke, The dream died. Who he was at that time prior. He no longer exists. We died. We, the day before, who we were no longer exists. We had to start new, and we had to start as that young couple again. Who are we? Who are we in this new journey? Now we are in the creative piece. We’re building a home.

Jennifer Fox [00:42:54]:
We’re back in that creative peace. And then there will be the other side, and it it’ll all happen again. And so it’s many, many cycles in a long partnership. It’s not just 1 or the other. And I think that’s really important to recognize that when you’re having maybe a hard time, It could be the dismantling of something. It could be end of the soul contract in that way, but there’s something new to turn back on. And it might have to be a different road, a different, whatever it is. And love is the underlying peace.

Jennifer Fox [00:43:29]:
That is the energy and the vibration that holds the partnership, but life is gonna happen in that love. So love is is what it is. It’s The Bonding Agent. So my husband, during the stroke, felt like you couldn’t dream again. And I’m the dreamer in the family. And when you hear those words, I can’t dream again, Kinda your life flashes before your eyes of, like, what is my life gonna look like? And there was so much agony in that. 7 years later, we finally made the decision to sell our house. And when we sold our house And got a ridiculous price because Maine is insane right now.

Jennifer Fox [00:44:24]:
We were under contract, and he threw his arms around me, and he took this big exhale and he said, I think I can dream again. And in that moment, Oh my god. Like, the joy and seeing things come to the other side And trusting that there isn’t the other side. There’s always the other side and seeing it through. And the house, it’s the new dream. It’s the new what was gonna be no Sarah. It’s the landing pad that we could have only dreamed of if we decide to go and live in other places for a while. And I’m so glad things worked out the way they worked out.

Jennifer Fox [00:45:16]:
The trust piece, the thank you. When I thought of her quote, when you don’t know, say thank you because you’re being presented something. It’s it might be in a really scary package, a really frightening package. You don’t know why this is happening. Take a deep inhale and a long exhale and just say thank you. I’m prepared. I got this. I got this.

Jennifer Fox [00:45:42]:
I I this is what I was meant to do. And right now, 7 years later, you know, it took a while, but I see I see how the ship was moving us in a different direction. And now I think going forward, if things happen, I I have a trust and an understanding that everything’s gonna be okay. Yeah. Even if The bottom truly drops out. Like, we’re gonna be okay. If the horrible disease is presented, everything’s gonna be okay because it’s It’s Just a Part of the Journey.

Sarah Tacy [00:46:20]:
Yeah.

Jennifer Fox [00:46:21]:
And I would say that as we’re building this house right now, we’re like newlyweds. We’re like kids, and our kids are they don’t live it with us anymore. And it it’s so exciting and delicious. So I think my thing to say about partnership and love is that the cycle is within the partnership and working through the diff the many different lives that you’re gonna have together. Love is that sacred thread that just keeps you all together.

Sarah Tacy [00:46:57]:
This is audio, so if you could see Jen’s hands. Whenever she says love, there’s this well, generally, there’s this steadiness as if it’s the underlying current, or I could imagine, I’m putting my own words to it, like the the yin of the earth, the richness, the nurturing. And then when she said life, she had her hand going up and down almost like when I think of a chart called the river of life, like the ups and downs That Flow. So I just wanted to kinda put that in there for anyone who was hearing it if, like, seeing the visual is additive. And I also wanna say that gives me a lot of hope, your story.

Jennifer Fox [00:47:40]:
Thank you.

Sarah Tacy [00:47:41]:
Yeah. And it’s like, I’m so grateful for you to walk us through the period of the dismantling and then to also be able to say, hey. On the other side, rebuilding a home. Like, the idea that you could be, like, newlyweds and you’ve known each other since 2nd grade is incredible. And I’m so grateful that you brought up again because it could be like end chron, and that’s the end stage, which I do get that there is the micro and the macro. But I’m grateful in this moment that you added how there can be so many cycles of maiden, mother, crone within each larger cycle. So that in this Crohn cycle that there’s you’re having a maiden energy again.

Jennifer Fox [00:48:33]:
100%. And what I plan to do on that land too is very mother. It’s very mothering because I wanna tend to it, And I want to make food and have things come from it. And so it’s so important to remember that the cycles are with us and we embody every single piece of it. So, you know, we’re all the maiden mother crone. You know, you look at a young kid and they’re so wise, and you’re like, what the heck? And that’s just their space may be activated, but they haven’t really gone through the whole piece. And you become ageless. And I don’t even say grow wise.

Jennifer Fox [00:49:19]:
You grow wisdom. So I’m growing wisdom. I’m not growing old. So as I go through this space. I’m growing wisdom. And I can now heal continue to heal the maiden and the mother that needed so much healing and taking care of my heart and in return what I’m Sarah for. And I can deliver more kindness and love to the world.

Sarah Tacy [00:49:45]:
Thank you so much for coming on.

Jennifer Fox [00:49:47]:
You’re so welcome.

Sarah Tacy [00:49:48]:
I’m really, really grateful.

Jennifer Fox [00:49:51]:
Oh, thank you. Thank you, Sarah.

Sarah Tacy [00:49:53]:
For the listeners, I might say this coming out January 30th that there was the offering for the Imbolc ritual of writing a letter to yourself, to your sovereign self. And choosing as you do so if it’s, like, really goal oriented or if it’s more wanting the vibration of love and self love and care. And do you have anything you’d wanna add to that?

Jennifer Fox [00:50:28]:
Kindness. Be kind to yourself. And I know you can love yourself, but it’s really being kind to yourself and how you Navigate Throughout the Year. And when you’re writing the letter, be kind to yourself because I think we need to do more more of that.

Sarah Tacy [00:50:44]:
I appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you again for your time. Thanks for me on to threshold moments. Thank you for sharing your story.

Jennifer Fox [00:50:54]:
Oh, thank you, Sarah. It was my pleasure.

Sarah Tacy [00:51:08]:
Thank you for tuning in. It’s been such a pleasure. If you’re looking for added support. I’m offering a program that’s totally free called 21 days of untapped court. It’s pretty awesome. It’s very easy. It’s very helpful. You can find it at Sarah Tacy c.com.

Sarah Tacy [00:51:28]:
And if you love this episode, please subscribe and like. Apparently, it’s wildly useful. So we could just explore what happens when you scroll down to the bottom, subscribe, rate, maybe say a thing or 2. If you’re not feeling it, don’t do it. It’s totally fine. I look forward to gathering with you again. Thank you so much.