063 – Mini Musing: Filling Energy Leaks

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Hello, welcome. I’m Sarah Tacy. And this is threshold moments, the podcast where guests and I share stories about the process of updating into truer versions of ourselves. The path is unknown. And the poll feels real. Together we share our grief, laughter, love, and life saving tools. Join us

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Hello, and welcome to threshold moments. Welcome back to frequent listeners. And if you are a brand new listener, or a first time listener, the mini musings are here as orientation tools, nervous system tools, though that no matter where you are in your process and your threshold in your life, that you could say, oh, yeah, that tool for my nervous system, or my well being that is going to help me through the journey. Today, I want to share a few little instances of finding holes in my game, finding energy leaks. And what happened when I filled them and reflecting back are asking you then to reflect on your life is there any areas that you would love to fill? First, I want to define what is an energy leak, an energy leak is any place in your life, where what is going out is not coming back in where you’re spending, your energy is not regenerative. So a regenerative output of energy would be a little bit more like if you have enough energy to work out. And you’re well resourced enough, and you work out and you put energy out, generally your state is going to change your blood is going to flow more, you’re going to have more of a co2 oxygen exchange and your organs and your muscles. And you’re going to feel better afterwards. And so you gave energy but you receive energy back. There are other areas in our lives that tend to just drain us. And some of them we have less choice over. If you are a parent who has a brand new baby or even a two year old and they’ve been up all night for two years, you could say Oh, I get energy back from being their parent. And that may be true, but sometimes the depletion of energy is so much greater. So I just want to honor that there are some places where the depletion of energy may feel like you don’t have a choice. And in that case, there may be other mini musings, I talk about alternative resourcing, to try to garner more resources and support when you’re draining more energy than you are restoring. Are there any places in your life where you’re using energy known or unknown to you, and the energy is not coming back in. Sometimes the padding up of the leaks has to do with boundaries. And we could think that that might be the majority of the time. And other times it is this small thing that we tolerate because we have the capacity to tolerate them that are draining our energy over time. This past January, I had two instances of plugging up energy leaks. And it wasn’t because anybody involved was bad or wrong. It was just no longer a fit. And so one of them was that over a year ago, I got into a business with two of my dearest friends. And we opened up a place in town and it’s gorgeous. And I imagined that I might start teaching yoga classes again. And I imagined that I might start seeing more people in person. And I imagine that I might record my podcast there. And that I might use it as a workspace so that when my kids came home, I would still have privacy or when I was teaching courses. But it turned out that I didn’t end up teaching more yoga classes and that I didn’t necessarily want to put energy into building a studio. And that the noise above the studio was a little bit too much to record a podcast in and that I didn’t use that for office space. And so every month, I had an outgoing payment. And my connection to the space was that it was beautiful and that it was being held with two of my favorite Are people and that leaving it might be a hard conversation and this what if and but some of the stress and strain I felt of writing the check each month when I knew I wasn’t using the space, I could say, oh, let’s in support of, you know, of my friends and at some point just didn’t feel great. And you know what, how much better is that for them to to have somebody in there who is fully committed to the space and building their practice and the cross pollination that happens when you have three active people in there is a really beautiful thing. And so, when I pulled out of there,

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I,

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I felt this immediate energy returned to me, and this immediate vitality returned to me. And it was something that was mostly in the background, it wasn’t a big, glaring thing in my life, it was mostly in the background. And then another small thing that’s gonna sound really silly, but I just wondered, do you have this around your house? Do you have this in any part of your life, we had this little drink refrigerator. And it was beeping all the time, and we couldn’t get it to stop beeping. So my husband and I put a weight up against it. And that would stop it from beeping sometimes, and then it stopped stopping it. And so then we put a heavier weight. I feel like most adults, get someone in to fix it, or change it out. And we just started to tolerate the beeping. And then one day, we had friends over who, when something is wrong, they simply fix it. Like in the physical space, if something’s wrong, if they have a vision, they are the type of people who immediately make the change. You know, it was kind of an impromptu, stop over and we were sitting at the table for a while. And I was like, this must be so challenging for you to sit here and hear the beeping and know that something is broken, and that it’s just not being fixed. And the two of them are me like, Yeah, can we do something about this, and they pull it out from the wall and they start maneuvering it. And eventually, they figure it out and they fix it and they push it back into the space. We have the capacity to tolerate it. And I always think this has been a bit of a gift that things don’t feel like an emergency to me that aren’t an emergency. But when it stopped beeping, and there was just silent.

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I was just in awe of how good it felt.

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So what began to happen when these two things changed. And I think there was one other thing that changed in this this week was that I started to feel so good, I started to have all this energy returned to my body that I almost didn’t know what to do with it. It was like I was feeling so good. And I wasn’t used to feeling so good. And I know if you’re listening that might sound so silly like I changed two things. But it restored something in me and gave me so much more energy than my body then had to take some time to adjust to feeling a little bit better because as Kate Northrup will often talk about, like the set thermostat, your body is so used to having one temperature, whether it’s like a living hell or heaven on earth, whatever it is, if that’s where your thermostat is set, it’s always trying to get back there. So as long as that had been set there and had felt really like, this is doable, I can totally tolerate this. When those gaps closed, there was actually a few week period where I felt slightly uncomfortable because I had more energy. And these were firm, ambient things, not even glaring things. So I’m wondering for you in your life, if there are any areas. And again, I’ve named two things, of course, like writing that check every month, that would be a more of a financial thing. Are there subscriptions that you are tied into that cause the slightest bit of stress or strain? Are there things in your house that had been bothering you for a while that you say some other day I’ll do that? Is there a dripping sink or faucet that one day you could have a friend over or you could figure out yourself?

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Oftentimes,

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energy leaks might also involve friendships

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or relational aspects.

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And these are a little harder because when we make a boundary to claim our energy back, there can often be This internal this nervous system feeling of threat. There’s a saying that often the people who get the most upset when we set a boundary are the people who benefit from us not having that boundary. So when we set a new requirement for ourselves and a new standard for another person who has been used to a different pattern with us, we can have that threat response within our own body first, of not belonging, and belonging is a primal need, we all have a survival need. And I just want to say that if you are doing that, if you are reclaiming a boundary with a loved one with somebody at work with yourself, that it is normal to also have some sort of threat response that it might not be an immediate Oh my God, I feel so much better. But it might be first surviving the discomfort of not pleasing another where you say my needs. And my reclamation of my energy is more important than pleasing somebody else than violating my own boundaries. For somebody who may be codependent on me violating my

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own boundaries.

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There’s another aspect I would love to add to this, which is that, while my husband and I were working with a person that we work with, around our nervous systems, and our patterning and being parents and individuals and a couple, we were talking about an instance where our girls were Loki fighting, and it was building it was building and my husband and I were somewhat preoccupied, cleaning up from dinner and taking care of things around the house. And we might have said, like, Hey, girls, please stop doing that, Hey, be kind to your sister, you know, the things that you might call in from the other room. And it builds and it builds and it builds. And he said to us, it generally never ends well, when the small things aren’t tended to at the beginning. And we wait until they build and almost anybody will you you’ll hear this on. So many of the interviews I’ve done on here where it’s the one doesn’t listen to their body at first and you tolerate you tolerate you tolerate. And then there’s the big message, there’s the big thing that happens that dysregulates you that ruptures, the stasis so much that you can’t continue on doing what you were doing. So in this smaller situation, the girls are going back and forth, going back and forth, and then somebody gets a finger slammed in the door. And then one of the parents gets really upset at the door. And I’ll just say that I get upset that the other parent that my husband got upset. And now you have four people who are dysregulated. And he said, imagine what would have happened if instead of tolerating it because the other thing is like we have the capacity to tolerate it, but we’re also so exhausted, can you relate it’s like I can tolerate this. But putting in the effort to change it. I don’t know if I have the energy for that. Said generally, it takes way more energy. On the other end, once everybody is dysregulated than it does at the moment where you don’t think you have enough energy to go and do pain. If you suggested if either of us had just immediately gone and sat on the floor and made a connection with one of them. Then most likely, the outcome were one child impulse is bigger than their ability to control that impulse. Happen, which isn’t gonna happen. That’s what’s gonna happen if we could get on the floor earlier. So the the small doable piece which is going to take some energy is getting on the floor and making a connection, that idea of connection before correction. After we plug the energy leak, we might feel that

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we get the energy back.

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This happens in finances all the time too. And then instead of immediately spending the energy we get back or if it were a financial thing, spending the money we the second we get back instead of spending. Can we let our bodies re regulate And retune to a level of having more energy as our homeostasis as our baseline. This is the month this is the time this is one of the last calls for Kate Northrop’s program. And what I love about Keita, she’s one of the most efficient people I know, she is actually where I got this idea from four or five years ago in a mastermind, saying to somebody, let’s do no holds November. And it was just a suggestion to look through their business to look through their relationships to look through a variety of areas of their life, and specifically finances to sure up all of the holes that were unnecessarily leaking and draining resources from them. And so as I was showing up my holes in January, I felt that influx of energy. So her program is going to look at our mental thoughts that could be draining our energy, nervous system repatterning, so that the areas that are draining our energy, we can start to recalibrate, and logistical things for finances. From there, you could have a choice to sign up for her relaxed money program, I do the nervous system support for that program. So you would possibly be with me once a month as part of that program. And when you sign up through my link, you will get two free one on ones, which is a pretty big added value financially. And if I do say so myself and from the people that I’ve worked with, it’s a big value for your nervous system to have additional support. Anytime that you’re working with mindset, nervous system and logistics, you will inevitably find the areas in your life that are leading you astray that you’re putting too much energy into, that you don’t have to anymore. Kate often also talks about the 8020 rule, what are the 20% of things that give you 80% of the outcome that you’re looking for. And part of the beauty of being precise is that we’re not draining our energy in the other eight out of 10 ways that you could be putting energy out but not receiving the energy back. So, again, thank you for today, thank you for coming, thank you for listening to ways that we can share up drains and leaks in our lives and begin to produce lives that are more full of vitality. Because in my experience, vitality is where my power and my creativity and my connection to Source is clearest and most potent. I’ll end as I generally do, which is often for the purpose of activating the reticular formation in your brainstem to help you see things that are already there but aren’t being processed by your brain and it sounds a bit like a prayer and it goes

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something like this

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may I have the courage? May I have the willpower to make small changes even when I can tolerate the discomfort may I make those small changes ahead of time? May I have the blessing to even be able to see areas in my life that are no longer serving me. If the changes are big, may I see other resources that can support me as I begin to make this change?

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May I be reminded that sometimes the effect of plugging a hole is immediate and feel so good. And other times the effects of making changes feel uncomfortable. And that that is okay.

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May I again be well resourced by My Spirit team, by my friends by nature, by creature comforts. As I make whatever changes need to be made to help my body and my soul and my spirit stay aligned and be a regenerative source and resource of energy.

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Thank you

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Thank you for tuning in. It’s been such a pleasure. If you’re looking for added support, I’m offering a program that’s totally free called 21 days of untapped support. It’s pretty awesome. It’s very easy. It’s very helpful. You can find it at Sarah tacy.com. And if you love this episode, please subscribe and like apparently it’s wildly useful. So we can just explore what happens when you scroll down to the bottom, subscribe rate, maybe say a thing or two. If you’re not feeling it, don’t do it. It’s totally fine. I look forward to gathering with you again.

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Thank you so much.