078 – Adventure Series: The Next Right Step [Bermuda]

Sarah Tacy [00:00:05]:
Hello. Welcome. I’m Sara Tacy, and this is Threshold Moments, a podcast where guests and I share stories about the process of updating into truer versions of ourselves. The path is unknown and the pull feels real. Together, we share our grief, laughter, love, and life saving tools. Join us. Hello. Another summer adventure awaits the lessons I’ve learned from saying yes to these particular adventures.

Sarah Tacy [00:00:46]:
And this one is about Bermuda. I love Bermuda. I feel like it could be called the Island of Kindness. Bermuda has crystal caves beneath it. It has, maybe it should or could have done some research here to tell you about the variety of wind directions and warmth or cooling that the ocean brings it to keep it at such a steady place throughout the year. The locals are well known for their generosity and their kindness, and the prices do tend to be high there, which I think that has to do with things being imported, but also for fair living wages. They have rules around as far as I can know, expats, it’s very hard. There are so many boundaries between expats being able to buy land there.

Sarah Tacy [00:01:43]:
And I think that gives great health to the locals and their ability to be land stewards on a place of their ancestors, which I know has also mixed influence, great mixed influence. I do not know all the details of their history. I can only tell you, or I, in this moment, could only tell you present time experience. While in Bermuda celebrating Janine Yoder’s birthday, I got to see my selkie friend who I met in Scotland. And there was this feeling when I saw her there, like, wow, we both said yes to this thing back in February, the Scotland trip, which was a great challenge for both of our families to make happen. Maybe somewhat last minute for both of us. Some great jumps for both of us. We were both the ones who were in the water every day and, and here she is in Bermuda, different waters in the water with her just thinking like, Woah, saying yes to this one thing brought this opportunity for this other thing.

Sarah Tacy [00:02:52]:
And here we are again. She’s from England. And here we are again meeting on a different island. It was the island of Lewis, and now it’s in Bermuda. And just the way that a yes can open up so many more doors. So one of the things I’ll start with that there was one evening where there was an opportunity to engage in this ceremony that might last like deep into the night and might end up with people like chatting on the beach all night and kind of sounded like it would go on and on. And I found that I just had this one desire to connect deeply with some of the people there and to like lay down and snuggle and relax and have good conversation. And I had this other part of me that was all about getting good sleep, so concerned about getting good sleep.

Sarah Tacy [00:03:55]:
And the thought that if I were to continue the night, that it would be a night that would drain me and that there would be activities that would drain me. And one thing that I would love to put out there, if you are a person who is super concerned with getting great sleep these days, is that there are opportunities in life that will hurt your sleep, but add incredible memories to your life. And I’m not suggesting that you chase everything and keep losing sleep over incredible memories that could be had. But it reminds me a bit about lifting weights. When we lift weights, we tear muscle fibers and there’s a chance, not always, but there’s a chance that your muscles could hurt the next day. And even more 2 days later, that there will be some swelling and some inflammation and some repercussion from doing that activity. But in the long term, you’re making your muscles stronger. You’re making it more resilient.

Sarah Tacy [00:04:58]:
And it seems to me to be true that whether it’s going out to a concert or to an event with friends or a ceremony that might last all night long or travel. I find travel to be so brutal on my body that there is expansion and contraction that is necessary. Meaning it does not have to be all of these things all the time. And for me, it might actually be like more recovery than output, But that these things, that the things that feel really hard on the body and really taxing are also the things that might give our life more fullness, more strength, more tone, more of felt sensation of life is worth living. There’s something to say yes to here. That in some sense that needing to get sleep every night, which there is a phase of my life where any amount of sleep was the most important. So I’m not saying this is for all people at all time, but that there can be an ultra protection mechanism around the nervous system, around sleep, around wellness that might keep us from having a different type of wellness, a wellness of experience, a wellness of contraction, a wellness of that comes from challenge. So this night reminded me of that.

Sarah Tacy [00:06:28]:
It filled my cup in so many ways. I ended up having so many memories and I did a pendulum before this, like, show me yes, show me no. Wasn’t my highest good? And the pendulum was completely centered. There was no yes. There was no no. There we did body tests and that’s all, like, so we go to bed now. Like, we had a night, we danced, we had a birthday dinner. And instead of it having to be super energy expenditure, we I did.

Sarah Tacy [00:06:56]:
I just kind of like cuddled up with a few friends and had conversations and laughed. And then we all went out on the beach and people were talking to each other in the chairs. And I walked out to the ocean and put my feet in the ocean and the stars were bright above me. My feet were feeling so amazing in the sand and water. And then again, there was that moment of like, Oh, I should go in. And I walk back and my friend Kate says, Do you want to go in? And I was like And so we get down to the water, we pull up our clothes, go in, and we are just laughing as we’re both some mix between floating in the water and getting like the waves crashing over us and sand washing over us and all of these funny memories come up that are shared. And eventually, I go back and my husband didn’t go out that night. And that is another great example of how we can have that interdependence of, okay, I hear you want to go to bed and get sleep.

Sarah Tacy [00:08:05]:
And I just want to like step by steps be like, okay, I can go back at any point now, now, now, now, and how he could get what he needed. And I thought what I needed. And for me, it started as an either or, like the end the night ends now with my husband or it doesn’t, and I’m going to be exhausted and pay for it later. And I got to have this beautiful in between that was moment by moment making decisions of what felt right next. And it reminded me of the double blinds either or into nuanced living that brought such depth and experience and life. And maybe the last thing I would share was that when we did a ceremony, literally a ceremony in this group is like a big thing and ceremony can show up in a myriad of different ways. And this one was being circled up around Janine. And, and I get to see, you know, she’s laying in the center and I see the people around her and think, wow, this woman had a really hard beginning in life.

Sarah Tacy [00:09:10]:
Everything we see here is what she chose and what she made in hard, hard decisions. White privilege, able-bodied, cisgendered, having many privileges on our behalf, and then having many, many, many childhood traumas and challenges and many things being stacked against her. And to see a life filled with so many healthy relationships when that had never been shown to her before gave me such hope again and again that any one of us could keep making small changes over time. Truths aligned with our heart that could guide us to more and more authentic relationships that are supportive and loving. And now I’m going to throw in adventurous and relationships that help us to see the best in ourselves and be the best of ourselves. Thank you so much for tuning in on this Summer of Adventure series. I’ll end with a may I statement. May I notice when I’m in an eitheror state and take each next right step that I can figure out in that moment? May I remember that even certain things that tax me in life or that are hard may also be building my tolerance, may be building my resilience, may be building my felt sense of what I can do and what’s possible.

Sarah Tacy [00:11:00]:
May I make one small decision after the other that fills my life with more beauty, more strength, more healthy relationships. May I say yes to adventure as I am ready, when I am ready to the extent that feels like just the right edge for where I am today. And may I know that that edge may change minute to minute, day to day. I look forward to being with you next time. Thank you.

Sarah Tacy [00:11:36]:
Thank you for tuning in. It’s been such a pleasure. If you’re looking for added support, I’m offering a program that’s totally free called 21 days of untapped support.

Sarah Tacy [00:11:48]:
It’s pretty awesome. It’s very easy. It’s very helpful.

Sarah Tacy [00:11:52]:
You can find it at sarahtacey.com. And if you love this episode, please subscribe and like. Apparently, it’s wildly useful. So we could just explore what happens when you scroll down to the bottom. Subscribe, rate, maybe say a thing or 2. If you’re not feeling it, don’t do it. It’s totally fine. I look forward to gathering with you again.

Sarah Tacy [00:12:16]:
Thank you so much.