080 – Ginny Muir: The Ripeness of Midlife

Sarah Tacy [00:00:05]:
Hello. Welcome. I'm Sarah Tacy, and this is Threshold Moments, a podcast where guests and I share stories about the process of updating into truer versions of ourselves. The path is unknown and the pull feels real. Together, we share our grief, laughter, love, and life saving tools. Join us. Hello, and welcome to Threshold Moments. Today, we have with us Ginny Muir who was the co leader of the Scotland trip.

Sarah Tacy [00:00:45]:
She's here today to talk to us about the ripeness that is possible in midlife with the proper cultivation, with the honesty, with the letting your soul take the wheel and what that looks like and how it might transform your life. So if you're interested in how your life might become filled with safer relationships that have more aliveness and eroticism and pleasure and vitality, then listen in. This woman is a deep soul worker. She has worked with 100 of people through major transitions in their lives. So not only is she doing the work for herself and living the life that folds feels fully aligned with who she is, which involves being able to say, no, that's not quite it. No, that's not quite it. Not that either until finding that thing that is a yes, knowing that everything may shift and change, but not being afraid of that too much ness or not enough ness. Please listen in to a wise, wise, fully alive, very honest woman, Ginny Muir.

Sarah Tacy [00:02:09]:
Enjoy. Hello, and welcome to Threshold Moments. Today, we have with us Ginny Muir. In putting together a bio for Ginny, I was saying I had to search and dig and people, I feel like often find Ginny via word-of-mouth. And she is a highly sought after ceremonial facilitator. She transmutes shadow into power, releasing tethers of fear so that we can dream a new world. She puts then with a side of witch and a dash of tantrika. And then I'm gonna read this part of the bio is actually a post that you made over a year ago.

Sarah Tacy [00:03:08]:
And I think it has enough truth and consistency that it could land today. It's a post that you made on your 43rd birthday. This past year was my most alive yet. I think if we are staying awake and curious, midlife is when we finally get to meet ourselves after we've been chewed up and spit out, loved and lost, fallen down again and again, learned about the power of humility and the liberation of life's nonlinearity. Who's here? Why be anything other than what I actually am? I am wild and I am rooted. My life is a prayer and stripper heels. Ceremony and dance floors, service and pleasure, mundane and extraordinary, increasingly simple and ever more complex and utterly and entirely in service of love. Conventionality has long since gone up the window.

Sarah Tacy [00:04:29]:
Bless. I am a happier in my body and more fulfilled in my work and more bathed in love than my 20 something self would have ever dared to dream. Welcome, Ginny.

Ginny Muir [00:04:44]:
Thank you so much, Sarah. Thank you for digging that up. That feels perfect.

Sarah Tacy [00:04:51]:
When I think of bios that often give orientation to a person via what they've done with their life or sometimes, you know, I know that you've I think you've been a coach and a health coach. And when I read this, it just felt like an ode to honoring more of the being of you. And when I've been in your presence, I feel you to be somebody who's more about the way one is in life than any credentials. And so when I saw this, I was like, oh, a bio is not fitting for Ginny.

Ginny Muir [00:05:34]:
I feel seen. Thank you.

Sarah Tacy [00:05:38]:
The other thing I will say for my listeners, if you've been listening this summer, we switched it up a bit. And instead of a weekly podcast, we did biweekly. And you recently may have heard about my journey to Scotland. And Ginny was one of the 2 space holders and creators of that trip. And as you heard me say throughout that, that part of the medicine was a space created. And the other part was the letting in of the magic that was to happen, that there was this curation by not curating that that took place and that was so beautifully held by you and Lola. So thank you for that and thank you for the magic that you've brought into my life.

Ginny Muir [00:06:23]:
Thank you for trusting us.

Sarah Tacy [00:06:26]:
Before we go into any life thresholds, can you say a little bit about the process of the balance between curation and letting go?

Ginny Muir [00:06:36]:
Yeah. I love this question. It's been a learned skill for me, like many things that comes through trial and error. And I think in the beginning of my journey of space holding, when I was less confident and had less access to trust in myself, there was this real need to plan every moment and to think so much about any eventuality that could take place and create structure around it and plan a and b and c. And that's great as a starting place. Actually, I think you need that as a starting place. And what I've learned over time is that when I actually trust myself, trust my collaboration with life, my collaboration with spirit, trust my capacity, what gets to come in is more invitation to magic and flow and the unexpected. And that is usually better than anything that I could make up on my own.

Ginny Muir [00:07:42]:
And the part of me that was unwilling to allow for that in the beginning really just didn't trust my own capacity. It was a I have to make sure that I'm prepared for any eventuality because I don't necessarily trust that I'm strong enough or fluid enough or in touch enough or in tune enough to flow with whatever comes in a way that is graceful and elegant. But as that trust has built through experience, which is the only way it gets built, I noticed that whatever comes, I can meet it, and I can collaborate with it and I can dance with it. And that's really what Spirit is always inviting in. It's, do you wanna dance? Here's an opportunity. Here's an the

Sarah Tacy [00:08:24]:
present

Ginny Muir [00:08:26]:
moment. When the present moment.

Sarah Tacy [00:08:35]:
When we were in Scotland, there was, you know, there was the moment at the stones and that was a whole thing of being sort of like, wait, did you plan this? So you plan for these men to show up with this music and this didgeridoo and the drums? And but then there was also this thing that happened that was post ceremony where you went upstairs to you and Lola were cleaning up a space and resetting it and you put on music. And I was having an incredible conversation downstairs and I was like, woah, I'm being called. Like, my body ran upstairs and this 3 hour dance party ensued. And I also took so much pleasure in being in each woman's energy as they move their body. And I could tell in particular that you most likely spend a lot of time here with dance and with moving your body in sensual ways. And I'm wondering if you could speak to us at all about that practice for you.

Ginny Muir [00:09:43]:
So I've always been a dancer. That was actually something that I did as a little girl and and did in a more structured, formal way as a ballerina, and I did jazz up until my teen years. And so I I moved away from dance. I would say that my most embodied self before the version that's here now was that little one, was probably between the ages of 711, and she loved to dance. And so it's always been something that has been an expression for me, a way to move feeling, a way to move energy through my body, a way that I find joy. And in my teen years, I moved away from it as there was increasing awkwardness and less connection to that pure channel that moves without criticism and judgment of the self, and I really didn't dance for quite a long time. It was not something that I did. And in my late twenties, we'll talk a lot about the threshold that was my Saturn return and this moment of being 29 9 and having a lot of things upended, life realigning me in a lot of ways.

Ginny Muir [00:10:54]:
But in my late twenties to early thirties, I got curious about dance again, and I started to go to classes. I lived in Washington DC at the time and just reconnect to that part of me that loves to move my body with joy. But it wasn't until I really started to explore more unchoreographed, nonlinear forms of movement that I really touched back into that deeply embodied place. And that started in ecstatic dance, which is a beautiful practice of moving without choreography, moving in connection with the other humans in the space, staying in your own experience, and just exploring what wants to move without words. And that opened up a lot for me and was an edgy practice at first. And I used to go to ecstatic dance and dance only with my eyes closed because I didn't wanna be witnessed or I didn't want to notice myself being witnessed and then therefore change the way that I was moving. But over time, I got more and more comfortable with that. And so I then found from that point, and I think I found this practice through Nisha, Maudly, actually.

Ginny Muir [00:11:59]:
I was in a year long program with her, a mastermind with her, and in one of the experiences, she brought in someone from an organization called s Factor, which was founded by Sheila Kelly and is all about sensual feminine movement. And those classes happen in dark rooms with red light and no mirrors and only women. And the instruction in that space is to move in a way that is entirely free from orienting towards the male gaze, but is actually about your own sensuality and your own erotic expression in your body. And something about that unlocked so much for me because a big part of my path has been learning, oh, my body is for me. My body and my expression through my body are for me. They're not actually for anyone else. And that was a huge sea change, a paradigm shift from so many of us who are programmed to be pleasing or attractive or And to be in that space and to be encouraged to move in circle, And to be in that space and to be encouraged to move in circles and to circle my hips and to move in a way that was just for me and was connected to my breath and was body led, following what felt good, opened up so much. And so I have been in that practice ever since, and it's been about 10 years now.

Sarah Tacy [00:13:23]:
Wow.

Ginny Muir [00:13:23]:
And there's a yeah. There's a studio here in Boulder, Colorado where I live, and I go to classes regularly. And as you get more and more into it, what you're learning to uncover is your unique erotic creature. That's how they talk about it. The erotic creature that lives inside you that might be really different than how you've been conditioned to be sexy or sensual. And your erratic creature might actually have a lot of challenge in her. She might have brat in her. She might have rage in her.

Ginny Muir [00:13:53]:
It's like they help you to unlock what are the songs, the type this type of music, the style of music that really unlocks something for you that makes you go like, oh, yeah. This I wanna move to. And to honor that and follow that and be on this own journey of uncovering the different flavors and textures of your eroticism through movement and dance. So it's a major practice for me and has been game changing in how I know myself to be a channel for that life force energy that also we call the Eros, neurotic energy of life, and how it naturally wants to move through me instead of how I, like, think I might need to twist or turn my body in order to look like what has been presented as sexy.

Sarah Tacy [00:14:42]:
Yeah. That, for me, as you say, that brings back that idea of trusting yourself for the cocreation. Yes. And there's also, as I am leaning into this theme of adventure, is the part of the unknown. Like instead of having clarity all the time and that that saying clarity is power, to have that curiosity or confusion, like, what the fuck is happening?

Ginny Muir [00:15:08]:
And and,

Sarah Tacy [00:15:09]:
like, to move with it and to be taught by it, to me, is something that really brings me alive. And I have found and now now I'm just speaking personal preference, that as soon as there's choreography, I often go into my brain.

Ginny Muir [00:15:25]:
Yes. Of course. I have

Sarah Tacy [00:15:26]:
always loved to just dance however I'm being called to move. And my story would go that, like, I couldn't remember the dance moves. Like, when I, you know, I went into the I did dance, like, multiple times a week until maybe 7th or 8th grade. And I was just like and was not great with language either. So, like, the French in the ballet, I was just copying the person in front of me, like, a half a second behind. I'm like, meh. But in college, anytime that my brain was getting foggy, I would just get up and turn the music on and just move. And then every single night that I went out, even if there was no one on the dance floor, I would find where there was a DJ or where there was music playing, and I would just dance.

Sarah Tacy [00:16:11]:
And sometimes the dance floor was filled, and sometimes I had dance partners. But a lot of times it was like, just me on the dance floor. And it has also made weddings really fun when I don't really know people at weddings. Yeah. I'm just gonna be on the dance floor.

Ginny Muir [00:16:25]:
So good.

Sarah Tacy [00:16:26]:
It's so freeing. But, yeah, since being a mom, and maybe even if I rewind back to moving to Long Island, New York and, like, taking my career very seriously, I stopped dancing. And so it hasn't been I dance in my kitchen, but it just hasn't been a a big part of my life. Although it is something that always comes forth in visions and has come forth in ceremonial spaces where it's like, oh, this is how I move like, the message so clear, this is how you move through the toughest things in life. This is how you move through the joy in life. This is this is part of the medicine. This is part of the necessity. And I think I s I, like, spotted it in you.

Sarah Tacy [00:17:10]:
I was like, oh, there it is. Like, that's that's, you know, that's what lures my body in. And to see your body so fully expressing it felt really good to my

Ginny Muir [00:17:23]:
body. I love that. And everything you just described to me, it's another reason I love it, is it's a direct access point to the feminine in us. Because what you just described being not in choreography, actually just being open is responsiveness. It's responsiveness to the moment, responsiveness to the beat, responsiveness to the tone of the music. And that is one of the greatest feminine gifts is to actually rest into our responsiveness and move from there. So if I'm ever overly structured or micromanaging or more in those sort of masculine skills of being achievement oriented and linear and structured, and I want an access point to my feminine, what you just described is exactly how I can get there. It's turn on music and just respond without agenda, without trying to get anywhere, just being in the cocreation with the moment.

Sarah Tacy [00:18:23]:
Going into the idea of trusting more and more in yourself to have the capacity to rest and respond. Mhmm. The post that you wrote with Nisha or in collaboration was about, from what I can recall, a life that once was to a life that now is. Filling in the blanks and allowing you to fill in the blanks. And I I imagine that the process is that of growing capacity to trust yourself and become yourself. And I imagine your story, which I actually haven't ever heard in full, would most likely story with me and the listeners.

Ginny Muir [00:19:17]:
Yeah. I would love to. Yeah. That post was in the same vein as the intro that you read, just this real place that I've come to in my life where I'm continually delighted and surprised because this is not the conditioning that I received, that midlife being in my forties, being halfway ish through this journey is actually the most alive and true and real I've ever felt. And the conditioning that I received was that it's all downhill after 40. Your value is in your youth, and your value is in your maidenhood. It's in your youthfulness, the the type of beauty, the type of capacity to reproduce, these things that have been valued by the patriarchy. And for me, the opposite has been true.

Ginny Muir [00:20:08]:
The older I've gotten and with each passing year, I've actually felt more connected to my vitality and my life force and the truth of who I am. And the story that I shared in that post was about moving from a life which looked really good on paper, where I had in my by about the age of 30, I had lived in a way that was right on track with what I was told I should want from the outside. I had the real estate development job and the good career and owned a lovely Victorian row home in Washington, DC with my then husband I looked shiny and aspirational from the outside. And inside, the experience that I was having was actually, I would say, quite miserable, actually. I felt really disconnected from myself. I felt constantly uncomfortable. I felt really lonely, and I felt that there was this divide between how people were perceiving me, which, of course, was a heavily curated perception designed by me to fit the things I was supposed to want, there was a separation between what people saw and what I actually felt on the inside. And no one had really told me what to do in that case because the training was all managing the external perception of yourself for safety and for success.

Ginny Muir [00:21:44]:
But around the age of 30, my body went into a shutdown of sorts. I started having what I would think of now as a health crisis. All sorts of things started going wrong that they were that were fairly inexplicable to the Western medical system that were you know, I had just I was not sleeping through the night. I was having these episodes where I would get just nauseous in the middle of the day. My skin would turn yellow out of nowhere. I had dark circles under my eyes. I looked probably older in some ways than I look now. And I felt low energy, and I felt depressed.

Ginny Muir [00:22:21]:
And I went to see the doctor and just kinda said, all of these things are going wrong with me. What is happening? And they told me, we don't know. You're probably hypoglycemic. You should maybe eat some more protein, but probably will you'll there'll be a point where you will get on medicine for diabetes, and that's what we'll do. Like, we'll just manage this with medicine. And everything in me in that moment rose up and just felt I felt one of the first things I ever felt this kind of roar of no from inside my belly. It didn't come from my mind. It came really from my sacrum that I just knew in that moment that's not gonna be my story.

Ginny Muir [00:22:56]:
And I don't know the answer, but I know that there's something else that's here for me. And that sent me on this journey of figuring out how to nourish my body, learning about nutrients and toxins, working with a health coach, and beginning to actually bring energy back into my body because in that moment, my body was being my guru. I was trying to convince myself that everything was working fine and doing, you know, a halfway decent job of that. But my body our bodies can't lie. Our bodies are animals. They have no agenda, no reason to bullshit us. Their job is to tell us the truth. Their job is to say to call us out in a very wise way and say, no.

Ginny Muir [00:23:33]:
This is actually not working, and I'm not gonna let you get away with it. And so it was that happening. My body saying, you you literally can't live this way. Your soul is dying, and with it, your body is starting to fall apart, starting to experience disease. So that was the entry point for me. And once I started nourishing my body and coming back into the fullness of my body through health and wellness, and, of course, I also started learning about meditation and yoga and what my chakras were. I started seeing an acupuncturist. It was beautiful at first because it was this homecoming and kind of this honeymoon period that I talk about this, but I think stepping onto the spiritual path or the path of personal growth and exploration often includes this very seductive honeymoon period where things feel great.

Ginny Muir [00:24:21]:
It's like, oh my god. Where has this been on my life? All of a sudden, I have energy. All of a sudden, I feel better. All of a sudden, I'm thriving. And then in general, that honeymoon period morphs as we walk further onto the path into challenge. And, oh, shit. Now I have to actually look around me and see what else is not aligned. So we get sort of seduced on the path by this honeymoon period, and then things start to get a little tough.

Ginny Muir [00:24:47]:
What got tough for me in that moment in my early thirties thirties was looking around my life with this new health, this new vitality, this new aliveness in myself, and realizing that almost nothing actually lit me up. Almost nothing that was in my life actually felt true to me. That included where I lived. That included the relationships I was in. That included my marriage. That included my nonexistent sex life. That included my job. It was just an oh shit moment.

Ginny Muir [00:25:21]:
Like, who built this and what was she doing? Because I don't actually like any of it. And so that moment on the path is a common one for people, and I usually see 1 of 2 choices that people make in that moment. And option a is to go back to sleep and to say it's gonna be too hard to dismantle all of this. I put so much effort into building it. I put so much effort into cultivating and creating it. I actually just have to double down and keep going in this direction and judge and shame myself the whole way for not liking what I have and just force myself into trying to twist myself into a pretzel to make it work. Option b is to say, I think I'm gonna have to blow this all up or at least a fair amount of it. And I'm willing to stand at that threshold and leap off into the unknown and manage my own terror, manage my own fear, get the support that I need to let this all fall away.

Ginny Muir [00:26:23]:
What is no longer aligned? What's no longer relevant to really step into the destruction so that something new can be created? And so that was that moment for me in my early thirties.

Sarah Tacy [00:26:33]:
So one image that comes to me from your story is this tree that I passed the other day. And I think I reported on it maybe on the podcast at some point where it had fallen down. And and, clearly, this is not a unique situation. It had fallen down because the inside was rotten. But from the outside, no one would have been able to tell. Maybe an arborist would have the the way a shaman might be able to tell, like, maybe an arborist would know, that that it's an unsafe tree because it's about to fall. And what I think can be confusing is that also in the spiritual world, oftentimes, it'll say when you get right on the inside, the outside will get right. Or and I can see how that is correct.

Ginny Muir [00:27:18]:
Eventually.

Sarah Tacy [00:27:19]:
Also but, also, sometimes the outside appears to be correct while we're dying on the inside. And I think that can be one of the most confusing places to be because it wouldn't be obvious to anyone on the outside that you're struggling or that you're suffering. And you may not feel like you have a right to want more or want different if your life looks so blessed. And I think that can be part of the isolation. If there were a disease that everybody knew you had, a community could circle around. But when it's a situation where it looks so beautiful from the outside and everybody is just reflecting how possibly, like, lucky you are or how well things are going. And it's a mismatch for inside. It's and I think it's a unique slice of hell.

Sarah Tacy [00:28:16]:
Yeah.

Ginny Muir [00:28:17]:
Yeah. Truly. Because it creates this cognitive dissonance, which is actually characteristic of what started that in the first place. You know, because so many of us started building lives that don't actually fit us because we were taught not to trust ourselves on the inside. And and many of our childhood experiences, we could feel as sensitive beings. We could feel or sense or know with that innate energetic capacity to read and feel what's happening in a space that we're all born with. We could feel that something was off, But we were being told from the outside, everything's fine. Everything's fine.

Ginny Muir [00:28:54]:
And so in those moments, we are taught to distrust ourselves, to distrust our own choices, to distrust our own truth, to distrust our own internal deep knowing, and then that cognitive dissonance really starts the split. Oh, okay. If I can't trust what I feel and know to be true because I'm receiving information from someone outside of me who's supposed to take care of me, who's supposed to be my protector, then the world if I assume that they're wrong, that means the entire world is unsafe. But if I assume I'm wrong, then that feels a little less dangerous somehow. And so we usually rest into that place rather than pushing up against what we're being told from outside.

Sarah Tacy [00:29:35]:
Right. Well, as little ones, if our protector is wrong, that's really bad news. And so that is why we switch it on to ourselves. And I remember very early on in my parenting journey, I think I first heard Danielle LaPorte, even though I see like every parent changing their language, talking about seeing this man at a swimming pool, being involved with his baby's swim lessons, and the baby starts crying. And he says, you're okay. You're okay. And the reason we say that as parents is because we want them to know you're safe. I've got you, which is different language, and it's an important language switch.

Sarah Tacy [00:30:14]:
Because if you say over and over if a child is told over and over, you're okay, but their feeling is, I think I'm gonna die. I am like, I'm feeling fear. I'm feeling sadness. Whatever the feelings are that are arising and it's coupled with, you're okay, then what do we ever do every single time we have feelings is, I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm fine. And it keeps getting compressed down until we Gosh.

Sarah Tacy [00:30:40]:
Until we become kind of like that tree that looks okay on the outside, but it's not okay on the inside.

Ginny Muir [00:30:47]:
Exactly. And so I think that's why the phrase you used, it's a particular slice of hell, feels really true because it's almost like we can't see our way out of it because it that way of being has been taking shape in us since we were little.

Sarah Tacy [00:31:01]:
You said you have to blow it all up. You said there are these two choices. And so in the world that I'm navigating and living in right now, there's this cycle, if it's either or, then it's a bit of a trauma response, like sleep or blow it up. And I'm not saying that is true because sleep or blow it up. And I'm not saying that is true because I am guessing you are with people, like, this is your job to be with people through this threshold.

Ginny Muir [00:31:24]:
Yeah.

Sarah Tacy [00:31:25]:
Do you ever see people take small, doable pieces? Like, when when it was your life, were there small pieces to the blow? Like, was it kind of instead of, like, blowing it all up at once, were there any parts of, like, I'm I'm now thinking about, like, if you were trying to get through a mountain and you had TNT dynamite.

Ginny Muir [00:31:44]:
Mhmm. And you kind

Sarah Tacy [00:31:45]:
of, like, you have to do it piece by piece and keep carving it out. Yes. Was there was there any bit of that where it was, like, a piece by piece over time? A 100%. It, like, all at once?

Ginny Muir [00:31:57]:
No. For me, it was a piece by piece over time. And I actually really like that you said that because I think going piece by piece lets us know, did I do it? Did I do enough? Or is there yet another piece to go? Right? And so when I say blow it all up, what I mean in that way is take the first step of really looking, being willing to look at what is the most misaligned thing and taking action to shift that. And that was really my journey of changing, really, everything. Started about the age of 30 and went until 36, I would say. 36 or maybe even 37, and it was a piece by piece journey. And it started for me with my body, changing the way that I related to food entirely, changing the way that I related to the medical system entirely, developing and rebuilding the intuition that I'm actually the one which was to change my job, which was actually the so and for me, I would say that which was to change my job, which was actually the so and for me, I would say that these sort of went in order of ease. It was actually very easy for me to change my my relationship with food and my body because it had been needing to happen for so long, and it had been a deep longing in me for so long to be in right relationship with my food and my body.

Ginny Muir [00:33:16]:
And then the next thing that was actually fairly easy was for me to change my job because I wasn't that attached to my job. It made me good money, but I had, all through my early years, bounced from career to career kind of I'm a manifesting generator in human design, which means passionate, which means there's many different things one can do. And so I had a marketing job, and then I worked at a nonprofit, and then I worked in real estate development, but I was not super attached to an identity around my job. I liked the financial aspect of it because I was doing well financially, so there was a leap there. But when I found health coaching, which was my entry point into this work, it was just such a resonant yes. I loved doing it so much. It was the first thing I'd ever done job wise that felt so exhilarating and inspiring to me that taking the pay cut and stepping into starting my own thing, actually, it was a challenge, but not as hard as some of the things that came next.

Sarah Tacy [00:34:08]:
Yeah.

Ginny Muir [00:34:09]:
And then opening that, the next thing that came came into my space was actually realizing I needed to change my entire community, my community of friends in particular. And that one was very hard because as someone who is a relationship person, highly relational, don't like it when people don't like me, and people please be and really into managing the perceptions of others, of myself, recognize the relationships and friendships that weren't serving me and weren't resonant and to pull back from them. Because pulling back from them, because pulling back from them, of course, meant more loneliness, but also gave the space for me to start to find the humans who were really my people and who were more aligned. And that rewiring took a year unto itself to learn to build deep intimacy with people who actually saw me and let myself be seen by those kind of people and take off the masks 1 by 1. And so that was the next piece for me. And then once I developed and built that intimacy, it gave me the foundation I needed and the signature, the imprint of emotional intimacy that gave me the strength to say, oh, this emotional intimacy that I have now in these new relationships is not present in my marriage. I do not feel seen there. I do not feel met there.

Ginny Muir [00:35:26]:
And that was the biggest one for me because leaving my marriage was a relationship of 10 years. At that point, it was a very large part of my identity. It was it was my safety, my security, my center the center of my home, really, you know. And to actually decide to step out of that was the biggest and final letting go. But I would say of all of those steps that I just named, that was the one that was sort of the grand finale of choosing myself. And in my as I've done more therapy and coaching, I've learned and seen, and I think this is a pattern that's really common for a lot of us, that in my early life, my conditioning was you can either have yourself, like, be completely in touch with and aligned with and connected to yourself and be lonely, be apart from everyone else, or you can self abandon, you can deny your needs, deny your preferences, orient towards the person in front of you, and be completely out of connection with yourself, but have relationship with the other. And so choosing out of my marriage was this bold step of something I never totally experienced of what if I can have myself and also stand for deep personal intimate relationships in my life. And it felt impossible.

Ginny Muir [00:36:53]:
So that was the hardest. But but that choosing was like, okay. At the end of the day, I would rather have myself, and that had been accomplished through getting to actually know myself. I felt like I didn't really start to get to know myself until the age of 30. And as I got to know her, I thought, oh, I actually really love being this. I really love being me. What a surprise. And so now I don't wanna lose this.

Ginny Muir [00:37:15]:
And so I'm re I'm willing to take that risk.

Sarah Tacy [00:37:19]:
I work with a number of people who are in situations where they're questioning their relationship and they are on the path of finding themselves. And I love the sequence you just gave of getting to know yourself first. Mhmm. Because my personal experience and what I've observed is that as we get to know ourselves and what we really want, and then we start to stand up for what we really want, the other person might rise and surprise us and take their own growth of, like, it last year, the July 4th episode was called interdependence. And it was this idea of, like, how do we find sovereignty while being relational? And my experience, like, well, sometimes it feels like a brick wall before it feels like a bridge. Yes. Where it's like, oh, I'm gonna claim this because this is what I really want. Because, you know, in my marriage, I could see so many times I'm like, oh, I won't do that because then Steve will be home alone, or Steve really wants me to go to this thing.

Sarah Tacy [00:38:24]:
And I don't wanna disappoint him. And and then just over time being like, what excites me? What do I like? How come I feel resentful? How come, like and it's because, like, it's insidious, like, because the way I would give myself away would be so small and almost unseen. Like, the preferences are so small sometimes. But when I start to claim those preferences, I realized that it's actually quite big, and it's actually quite a big statement to say, I'm going to do this thing instead because this is what really lights me up. And then, yeah, to do that, to go on a path of honesty with myself or myself, and then not knowing how a partner will respond and not knowing if, say, the partner has an abandonment thing and and the other person's leaving that it could trigger. And then it's it's asking for growth from both and or showing that it's not a fit. But I do think one of the most beautiful things when the question is about the partner is that we really find out about what lights us up first. Before we know that everything's blown up, like, first it was, let me clarify my body.

Sarah Tacy [00:39:38]:
Let me clarify my work. Let me clarify my friendships. Let me choose myself. Now I realize this is completely out of alignment for sure.

Ginny Muir [00:39:46]:
Yeah. Exactly. And a thing I'll say over and over again when I'm coaching people is in order to have what you want, you have to admit what you are.

Sarah Tacy [00:39:59]:
Wasn't a mic drop. That was a caption that happened at the same time.

Ginny Muir [00:40:03]:
In order to have what you want, you have to admit what you are. We can't be mad at life for not bringing us our deepest desires if we are not being honest about the truth of what's in here. And sometimes that's an excavation process like we just talked about. We have to excavate under layers of, is this mine or is this my mom's? Is this my dad's? Is this patriarchy's? Is this capitalism's? Is this my lineage? Is this my you know, it there's a lot of threads and layers to pull out from underneath, but the closer we get to really connecting with our true desire and who we truly are, the more we're putting that frequency, that transmission out into the world, and then life can meet us with bringing us what we want.

Sarah Tacy [00:40:48]:
And so now that your life is meeting you with who you are Mhmm. And you are being who you be, what does life look like?

Ginny Muir [00:41:00]:
I'll I'll tell a little story that feels like it illustrates the answer to this question. So I live in a beautiful stone cottage. It was built in 18 70, the mouth of the Boulder Canyon surrounded by gorgeous nature. It's a magical home. I get to work with clients deeply 1 on 1 in this space in just wild, emergent, transformational ways. And a few months ago, it was a Tuesday night, and it was at the end of a long evening working with someone and watching them emerge from underneath the rubble of some of their trauma and just feel themselves and open their heart and connect with their true essence. And I went downstairs to get snacks as I do at the end of session, make my snack tray. And I was in my kitchen in this, like, black jumpsuit with my feather earrings and dancing to the music that was playing and assembling cheese and crackers and nuts and tea, and I just started laughing.

Ginny Muir [00:42:08]:
It was probably midnight on a Tuesday. And I just said I looked around my, like, my kitchen, in my witch cottage and the experience that I was having, and I just thought, this life matches me perfectly. And I could never have dreamed it from that 10 years ago version of myself, but it was created one step after the next, after the next, after the next. And it looks like the work I get to do being so profoundly inspiring to me, truly the work of my heart, sometimes challenging, but never not a yes. I love it. It looks like having a community of humans who I call just soulmate friends and meeting more and more of them every day. And this is one of those things that, like, when we talk about abundance, you know, the one of the laws of abundance is the less you're in scarcity around something, the more of it you attract into your life. You know? And I used to feel so left out and so lonely when it came to friendship, and now it's like I can hardly keep up with the amazing, incredible beings that I get to call friends, and it's just like there's more of them coming in all the time.

Ginny Muir [00:43:16]:
And so that's and I have I feel so held, so held in deep intimacy, like friends who really are genius level, sensitive beings who never find me to be too much, who never find me to be not enough, who celebrate my fullness, who cheerlead me, who pull me up out of the muck when I'm there, who spot my blind spots for me with love. It's a very rich tapestry of humans that are my my people. And it looks like having an incredible romantic partnership. That's the most secure relationship that I've ever been in. That's also super sexy and growth oriented and alive and passionate and solid and safe. And I just yeah. It feels like I'm feeling healthier in my body than I've ever felt, feeling more alive and more vital and stronger in my body than I've ever felt. It really just looks like it matches me.

Ginny Muir [00:44:15]:
And that wouldn't be everyone's vision for matching them, but it is true and is a true my life is a true match for me in this moment and also always has space to emerge and to shift and to grow and to change. And that's also a way that I like to do it is for nothing to feel really static, for to know that there's always another shift, another growth that gets to be really led by my soul. And I I would say that what I feel like my life is now is, like, my soul is in the driver's seat. Not my human wounding, not my trauma, not my pain, but it's truly my soul is in the driver's seat. And so sometimes, you know, our souls are in charge of expansion. So sometimes that looks like hanging on for dear life. Like, wow. Okay.

Ginny Muir [00:44:57]:
We're really we're really going here. We're really doing nothing. But after, you know, a decade of doing this, I've learned to trust that and to trust the direction that that part of me is taking me, that part of me that's in charge of expansion and not the part of me that's in charge of survival, which is really what our human selves are here to do, make sure we survive, make sure we stay in homeostasis, make sure we don't encounter any threats, you know, all of that. So that's how I would describe it.

Sarah Tacy [00:45:26]:
There's a part of me that's curious because I'm like, oh, maybe I just haven't experienced this yet. My experience of life is that I'll wake up some morning, I will look in the mirror and I will say like, Who is this person looking back at me? And I'll have this moment where I realize I have chosen each part of what is around me. And I will wonder, like, how will I get back to myself? Like, how will I bring that part that is down there that is crying to get out? And and and I'd have to look back. Like, what did it what choices did I make that weren't in alignment of her? And and I started on a path and kind of clear the way. And then I'm in awe and maybe it's 7 years later. And I'm, like, totally in awe of the life that I've built and the things I get to do and the people I'm surrounded by. And and then I've gone through, like, kind of multiple big or mini cycles again. And so Mhmm.

Sarah Tacy [00:46:29]:
Mine hasn't necessarily been my soul is in the driver's seat, and it never, like, goes off and takes a nap while the ego takes back over or, like, while the insecure part takes over or maybe the trauma pattern that I think is me that I have not, like, cleared out that is not me. And as I'm listening to you, I'm like, woah. Is it possible? And maybe this is where you're living from right now where there isn't kind of, like, a looping back at points. Because for me, it's, like, almost like a not a constant readjustment, but there are adjustments that need to be made where I realized, okay, I've gone off track. And this year, in particular, has been such a beautiful year of tracking more of the yes pieces and more of the coming back to life pieces. But it hasn't been a once I found the way with my soul driving that it's gotten to stay there. And I'm wondering about your experience with that.

Ginny Muir [00:47:25]:
I mean, to be clear, my soul being in the driver's seat means there are many death cycles constantly included. Okay. It's not linear. Yeah. It's not linear. So but it is yeah. It's a a trusting that with each iteration, there's a a moving forward that is conscious and is designed by something I can trust. But every so often, there will be a clean out.

Ginny Muir [00:47:52]:
There will be an identity piece that needs to die. And what I would think of it as is not that there was anything wrong with that identity that you took on or that way being, but then all of a sudden you accumulated enough wisdom or enough connection to some true part of you that the discrepancy could then become obvious. And then when it becomes obvious, we then have to transition and go back through a releasing of that, which is no longer relevant. Yeah. Because if we watch how the earth works, and this is what I think, you know, so much of my work is rooted in earth ways and in learning from the great teacher that is our mother earth, everything in nature goes through these stages of birth and maintenance or growth and then destruction. And the destruction is the removal of that which is no longer relevant. So it doesn't mean the removal of the entire thing. So every fall, just because a tree sheds its leaves does not mean the tree itself is no longer relevant.

Ginny Muir [00:48:47]:
It means that set of leaves, it's time for it to go. And the tree can continue growing inside of that mini death, and that's how I really see it. It's like the great trajectory is growth and forward motion. And inside of that, there's gonna be little mini cycles of scrubbing away, exfoliating away that which is no longer relevant with the new content that's coming online.

Sarah Tacy [00:49:10]:
I appreciate the way you worded that because I can see in my story that I was telling myself that there can be some shame or some I did something wrong. Yeah. No. Verse, like, verse the possibility that my soul was still in the driver's seat doing the best it could do. And I just, like, there is that part of me that's like and the human, you know, constantly interacting with with what's there and the old patterns. I I do actually kinda feel like maybe my driver's seat isn't as clear as yours, But and not in a shame way. Just not like, meh. But I I appreciate the idea that even if the soul is in the driver's seat, that those cycles are almost more mandatory.

Sarah Tacy [00:49:57]:
Like, it's like, oh, we're doing this again. If you want to grow and evolve, like, this is what we do. Whereas, perhaps, if the one the security system is always in the driver's seat, then everything keeps getting suppressed and pushed down and tightened in and compressed, instead of getting to shed and die.

Ginny Muir [00:50:18]:
Totally. And one of the things that I when I I've done for myself and when I work with people I do is, as a fun exercise kind of personifying what is the essence of your soul and what is the essence of your human. And some people have a really wide discrepancy between those two components of themselves. I'm one such person. I have a very intense soul with no chill. Like, full pedal to the metal, We are here to do all the things as many as we can in one lifetime. Let's clear every single bit of karma from anything in your lineage. Go.

Ginny Muir [00:50:54]:
Go. Go. I mean, that's my soul. And my human is like, but can everyone also really like us along the way? Can we be so relatable, And can we be so pleasing? And can we be just like a delight and a joy that everyone loves being around and never ruffle any feathers? You know? And those two things have taken some work to to bring into convergence. And what I see is this journey, this really does take time, and this is why I love talking about this midlife moment because you can't do this any other way than with time. You can't you can't speed it up because it's a gradual process of getting your human to trust your soul. And in general, our human is programmed to be not trusting, is oriented towards troubleshooting. Where is the danger? Where is this not safe? Where could I not trust the protector? Where could I not trust the caretaker? Where is it really, really dangerous? And so the letting the soul just gradually lead one more step at a time and letting the human build trust of, like, oh, okay.

Ginny Muir [00:52:01]:
That was big and that was intense and that was a, like, challenging experience to go through, but, woah. Look where we are on the other side. That takes reps until the trust can really get built. We have to go through that again and again and again. Human, just like when we're healing trauma, we say it takes 1,000 and 1,000 and 1,000 of experiences of healthy nervous system regulation, healthy coregulation to undo trauma patterns. It's not just done in one time. Repetition, repetition, repetition. And I think this process is the same, and we just have to, like, little step at a time, let the human go through experiences that feel truly soul led where you maybe jumped off a cliff or did the impossible thing or went against your fear patterns and then stop and receive the data point of, oh, okay.

Ginny Muir [00:52:48]:
And, wow, here's what opened up and here's what opened up.

Sarah Tacy [00:52:52]:
I want to ask you about your relationship with your new partner being together, moving apart. Being back together.

Ginny Muir [00:53:01]:
Yes. I love the story.

Sarah Tacy [00:53:02]:
Yeah. And eros and sex. And most people I know, when they dated people before they got married, they may have had different sexual relationships with those people. And then the person that is safest, and secure, and easy to build with over time might not have the same heightened chemistry because the person that, say, I had the most heightened chemistry with possibly even, like, the too much friction and not enough

Ginny Muir [00:53:29]:
It's dangerous.

Sarah Tacy [00:53:30]:
It's dangerous. Yeah. And so here you are, mid forties, and you've worked on being like, clearing your body, getting into what you know, what you love, what you sense, what you feel into sensual dancing. And I think that you've described him as as, like, a safe container as well. So I'm the 2 parts are together, apart together. And then what is it like to have high chemistry within a safe container? Mhmm.

Ginny Muir [00:54:01]:
Okay. I love this question. So first of all, we all have parts of our curriculum that come easy to us, you know, a that we can figure out maybe without too much effort or too much work. And then we have parts of our curriculum that we feel, I may never solve this one. I may go to my grave without nailing this particular thing. For some people, that's money. It might be purpose. It might be body.

Ginny Muir [00:54:26]:
For me, that was relationship with the masculine. And it felt, in some ways, like, the insurmountable part of my journey that I am a deeply I'm deeply wired for intimacy. Intimacy is one of my highest values. I love romantic relationship. I'm a romantic at my core, and I have just, in my life experience, since getting divorced at 35, I've had a series of relationships, but it has felt like, not quite it. Beautiful. Learned this lesson. Got this thing.

Ginny Muir [00:54:59]:
And then moving on, not quite it and not quite it. And I began to get to this place where I started to feel, oh, I may never feel met in this way. I may never feel like I actually have a relationship with a masculine being because I am sometimes much to my dismay, a straight woman often said it. It's okay. If I can change that, I would because I have the most amazing, beautiful, emotionally intimate relationships with women, and that has not been a challenge for me, but really wanting to create that with a romantic partner, a masculine romantic partner. And in the relationship my last relationship that I was in before the one that I'm in now, I had it really felt in some ways like a peak love experience in terms of chemistry and soulmateness and what felt like karmic familiarity. And there was a lot of passion and a lot of chemistry. And in so many ways, it really opened my heart to the beauty of having that level of deep love, a particular flavor of deep love.

Ginny Muir [00:56:04]:
And in the end, I still didn't feel met there because I was not met in the 3 d. I was not met in the safety of life. I didn't feel like I had an actual partner that I could manage life well with and do life well with. And so at the end of that relationship, I felt, in some ways, even a little more resigned. Like, okay. This is just how it's gonna be. I get one or the other. I either get safety and solidness and partnership, or I get passion and chemistry and fire and the best sex of my life, and it has to be 1 or the other.

Ginny Muir [00:56:38]:
And I felt a lot I went through a lot of grief, actually, in that resignation. And I wasn't ready to fully accept that because that's not who I am, but I was sort of dancing with that belief. And what would it look like to just say maybe that's all that there is in this lifetime? But on the other side of that relationship, I met my current partner, and we started dating before either of us were really ready, but we met in this, you know, just sort of chance way and we had a slow build. And from the beginning, I felt, oh, this is partnership again. I'm back in that side of the spectrum where I'm I feel him solid. I trust him. He's got the things of life handled. He's super sturdy in all of these ways, and doing life with him feels easy and additive.

Ginny Muir [00:57:28]:
But I'm not sure if my heart or my pussy, frankly, are fully on board. I'm not feeling that level of aliveness and fire. And is that something so I played with in this is what I call round 1 of our relationship because there have been 2 phases. I played with, what would it look like in me to try and create that, to try and open to that, and putting some effort towards that instead of just saying it either exists or it doesn't. And we made some progress, and we made some headway in creating more of that deep connectedness. But in the end, there was this intuitive knowing in me that something between us, something in our dynamic was not quite it. And I couldn't put my finger on exactly what. I had some ideas, but I just had to follow this intuitive nudge in my body that we're not gonna actually be able to, while together, while in this dynamic, we're not gonna be actually able to surmount whatever this disconnect is that's having us not find each other fully in the aliveness.

Ginny Muir [00:58:33]:
And the only thing I knew to say to him was something in me doesn't trust you because I sense that you're not fully loving yourself. Something is off. I sense self abandonment in you. I sense overinvestment. I sometimes can't feel your needs or your preferences, like you're overly attuning to me. You're vying for this relationship, and that doesn't feel good because it feels like, who am I even in relationship with? Where's your solid center? That was the only thing I knew to say to him. And what he knew to say to me was, and it feels like you're not truly emotionally available. I don't know what you have to do or, you know, that's just what I that was his reflection to me as we were breaking up, is you still have this avoidance thing happening.

Ginny Muir [00:59:15]:
I've never felt you 2 feet in. There's an emotional unavailability. And then, of course, if you see how those two pieces go together, it's a perfect puzzle piece because I'm emotionally unavailable and avoidant, which is triggering the thing in him that's like, oh, no. I have to, like, you know, do something to get her to engage. And then everything he's doing to get me to engage makes me feel like I don't trust you, and then I back up. So we broke up, and we spent 5 months apart. And during that 5 months, without really talking about it, we each went and worked on those two pieces. And, really, I took what he said to me as a sacred assignment because he was really, in that moment, the cleanest reflection I ever had from the masculine because we're always evolving in relationships.

Ginny Muir [00:59:55]:
So the most recent relationship is probably gonna be the most accurate reflection of you in this moment. And I was like, okay. Well, all I know is I really want full fuck yes love. And so if this is the reflection that this person is giving me, there's some work I need to do on whatever is keeping me from being emotionally available. And I went through a lot of deep work around that, around actually releasing the partnership that had come before, around confronting the parts of me that were that felt like I had to hold myself apart in order to be safe, in order to maintain some sovereignty, as you were talking about before. What would it be like to actually open all the way and hold nothing back and went through terror around that actually, like, found some really young parts that were very terrified for very good reason. Simultaneously, he was doing work on self love because he he walked away from that conversation, and he was like, she's not wrong. What is it in me that would have me want to be with a woman who's not choosing me? That feels like low self worth, actually.

Ginny Muir [01:00:54]:
That feels like not self love. And so he dove really deeply into somatic work, into relationship with his parents, into, you know, things the things that are the root cause of these these patterns of lack of true solid center self love. And then when we reencountered each other 5 months later, the immediate experience was, oh, this feels like a different person. And that was a mutual experience completely, which just proved to me in a way I've never felt in such an embodied way that you really can change your energy, change things at the root of your patterns, and appear to the world, even those who know you really well, as a brand new person, occur to the world as a really different person. And so we came back into a relationship, but carefully with a lot of open communication and a lot of, like, taking it step by step and feeling for it step by step. And as you heard in our journey in Scotland, it was kind of like I'd been in a about a month of really deeply considering, okay. I'm actually feeling like I might wanna go all in here, and does this really feel true? And that trip did so each deep experience I had, and this is where I know to trust it, each deep experience that I had, deep experience. Not like, it's whatever run-in the mill everyday life, but each ceremony, each retreat, each, you know, immersion, I would see him more and more clearly and feel more and more of a yes and fewer and fewer questions.

Ginny Muir [01:02:22]:
And meanwhile, because he had done his work, he was, like, totally unattached to any timeline from me. There was no forcing. There was no grasping. It was like, we'll see. If this is gonna be, it'll be. Great. And so those two ways of being, obviously, are not wound matching. It wasn't completely it was it was actually allowing us each to be liberated from these old patterns.

Ginny Muir [01:02:45]:
And we found our way back to each other and decided to step into relationship. And the chemistry that was missing in our round one totally opened up and became so much more naturally present because no one was coming from a child part. And I think that so often what keeps us from having passion, fire, and chemistry is when it's actually our child consciousness is meeting, and that's not very sexy.

Sarah Tacy [01:03:15]:
I'm making the grossest taste over here. Yeah. Like,

Ginny Muir [01:03:18]:
ew. Right? If someone's little one is over here being like, parent me, parent me, parent me, that's not hot.

Sarah Tacy [01:03:25]:
Yeah.

Ginny Muir [01:03:25]:
And that will absolutely that can feel like safety, especially if the other person is like, okay. Sure. I'll take deep care of you. But that's not sexy. What's sexy is 2 people saying, you know what? It's my job to parent my inner child. I'm never gonna actually ask that of you. I'm gonna I've got me. Not I don't need you, but I'm not gonna ask you to do that work.

Ginny Muir [01:03:47]:
And I am going to find other places to do that work. And so that we can be in our adult, sexy, fully formed, fully alive, wild, free, edgy selves together, which is what allows the chemistry and the passion to keep flowing. And so that's what I feel like liberated

Sarah Tacy [01:04:05]:
it. Well, this is like the whole theory that I have about the people people choose to be with for partners versus lovers.

Ginny Muir [01:04:14]:
Mhmm.

Sarah Tacy [01:04:15]:
I don't wanna say it would need a full rewriting, but would then be interesting of, like, why we choose what partners we choose Yeah. Around the age that we choose to get married. And if the relationship were going to last long term with passion and chemistry becoming more important, the idea that there can just be so much healing of the younger selves and that 2 people could reemerge as fully formed adult humans Yeah. That aren't just, like, wearing the mask of an adult is pretty hopeful. Yeah. And exciting. Mhmm. And as you said, I feel like your story with your partner, part of me wanting you to share it is that when you went off to do the work, you didn't necessarily do it to save the relationship.

Sarah Tacy [01:05:04]:
You did it to come home even more to yourself, which then ended up being a match for each other. But it could have also been you do the work, and then you're a match for the next right thing. And so the beautiful thing is to go off and do it for the sake of yourself and that he did it for the sake of himself. But you didn't do it for yourself because he was doing it for himself?

Ginny Muir [01:05:23]:
Nope. Didn't have any idea because we broke up,

Sarah Tacy [01:05:26]:
and we

Ginny Muir [01:05:26]:
went into a period of no contact, and that was intentional. So I had no idea what he was up to over there. But what was very cool, each took that communication that happened at our uncoupling conversation as a sacred assignment and for the self for the self because he knew, oh, I'm never gonna be able to be in the kind of relationship I want if I don't actually love myself. And I knew I'm never gonna be able to be in the kind of relationship I want if I'm holding some part of myself back, actually, and if I'm still connected and corded to old dynamics. So, yeah, it was in service of the epic love that we both desired with no idea and really knows. I mean, I, for sure, did not think there was going to be around too. So that was a surprise and a delight.

Sarah Tacy [01:06:09]:
So beautiful. Would love for you to say a thing or 2 about the program that you and Nisha are running together.

Ginny Muir [01:06:17]:
Amazing. Thank you. Yeah. So it's called Ripe. Nisha is a dear sister of mine, and I mentioned her earlier because she really did her presence in the world shifted my life a lot because when I was in those early thirties days, I joined a mastermind with her. And she's my age, a year older than me, perhaps. But at that time, I really looked up to her and saw that she had she had been on the path and actively walking it in a very swift yet rooted way for years. And I joined a container that she was holding, and it's where I met so many of my best friends, including the friend that connected you and I and changed my life.

Ginny Muir [01:06:53]:
But what I've tracked with her over the the the 10 years that followed that as we've moved from coach and coachee relationship into dear friends and sisters is that both of us have rooted into the belief that we refuse to decline as society prescribes at midlife and not in a way that actually was overt. That's just the way that both of us live. And so we sort of looked up at each other this past year, both of us in our mid forties, and looked at each other as we were co facilitating a retreat and said, you're more alive than I've ever seen you. And she said, you're more alive than I've ever seen you. And it's like, well, hot damn. How about that with us at 44 and 45 actually feeling so full? And she's in the most sexually fulfilling, like, beautiful, erotic, alive, passionate, safe, secure, solid, growth oriented relationship of her life, and so am I. And we've taken different paths to reach that. She has children.

Ginny Muir [01:07:51]:
I don't have any children. We've been meandering in different ways, but have kind of arrived at this moment where we both feel so rooted in our purpose, so connected in our relationships, so solid in our bodies. And, really, as we were talking about it, we started thinking, how could we I want to live in a world full of women in their forties and fifties and beyond who are so lit up and so themselves and so expressed, how do we help create that? Because this midlife moment is, like, this unique convergence where we have the benefit of both the wisdom of our lived years and the life force and vitality that can still exist in our bodies if we're cultivating it and taking care of it. So to me, it's about being in this convergence moment. How do I cultivate my wisdom and cultivate my life force so that I am really at my maximum potential in this moment of life? And that includes in my sexual expression, in my work in the world, in my parenting, in my community. It's like stepping into this most evolved self that you've ever been that includes a lot of what we have normally associated with youth, youth, youth, includes a lot of what we have normally associated with youthfulness, things like passion and and delight and pleasure and fun. Like, those things still get to be here. So we created this program called Ripe, and we're gonna launch the first round of it.

Ginny Muir [01:09:12]:
But we're really feeling, like, developing this as our body of work because we both feel so passionate about what the world could look like if the wise women at midlife actually knew themselves to be powerhouses and to be transmissions of life force and vitality and sexiness and the sacred.

Sarah Tacy [01:09:32]:
Hello. I have an update. When Ginny and I first spoke, the details of Ripe were not out yet, but they are now. And I'm looking through their page and I'm just going to read what I see. Ripe, awaken the wise, erotic power of midlife, an 8 week live journey with Ginny Muir and Nisha Moodley. Early bird pricing until August 15th. So the beautiful thing is that you'll hear this episode before that. And most likely you will hear my episode with Nisha after that, as a reminder to anyone who didn't sign up.

Sarah Tacy [01:10:09]:
It says, As women, we've been sold a lie that it all goes downhill at 40. But the truth is that midlife brings a convergence of wisdom and vitality that if harnessed has the potential to change our lives and our world for the better. It goes on to talk about the erotic power in our sexual essence. And it goes on to talk about friendships and different elements of the program have to do with intimacy, body nourishment and appreciation, boundaries, energetic cultivation, freedom from comparison, adornment, liberation, ritual and beauty as a way of life, unity and leadership, and owning our wisdom. So to me, it sounds like a pretty awesome program. I am aware of Neisha. We share many friends and I've heard nothing but amazing things about her power and her wisdom and have gotten to spend quite a bit of time with Ginny with last year. And I'm also in awe of her.

Sarah Tacy [01:11:10]:
The early bird pricing, you save a $100 and that lasts until August 15th. You can do it in a 10 payment plan. It's single payment of $600 or 700 after August 15th, and the program starts on September 9th. So, yeah, sessions are live on Mondays, 1 to 3 PST, and they will combine teaching, facilitation, and group coaching. That was helpful for you. So great. The website is ripewomen.com. When I was in my twenties, I worked with a lot of people in their forties fifties.

Sarah Tacy [01:11:53]:
I was doing yoga therapeutics, then I was really like, Oh, like, everybody has this infinite potential. I was so full of life at that point. And Yeah. I really believed in life force energy. I really believed in the intelligence of energy. I believed in the messages that we got. I believed in listening to the whispers. I believed in science and, like, bringing them all together.

Sarah Tacy [01:12:15]:
But what I would tell people as their bodies were gaining ears, I was like, oh, you get such a refined feedback. Like, in our twenties when we have so much water and fluid and life force energy, we could be doing the wrong pattern over and over and over again, and it could take 10 years before we get the message that that was an unhealthy pattern. 100%. But as we get older, like, quite literally in our physical bodies, you could take a step or 2 in the wrong direction and you get the message almost immediately, which we think, oh, that's such a terrible thing that happened. I slept in the wrong way, and I woke up with a kink in my neck and getting older. But, also, it's like the messages come through to us more quickly about the way you used some word about cultivate, of what do I need to cultivate for this light? It's almost like you don't necessarily just get given the gift of life force energy. It's a Gotta

Ginny Muir [01:13:10]:
work for it.

Sarah Tacy [01:13:11]:
Wise cultivation at this age and a refinement, even if the refinement is opening up to greater trust. So that was what was coming through to me as you were sharing that.

Ginny Muir [01:13:21]:
I feel so honestly, it feels like that was such a gift to me, that frame, because I haven't been able to articulate it in that way, but that is it. Right? And we it's like we complain about the fact that I used to be able to, like, stay out all night and have 6 drinks and wake up the next morning and feel fine. And now I have one glass of wine with dinner, and I'm done for 2 days. It's not that the 6 drinks were ever fine for you. It's just that the feedback system was not as cultivated and refined and wasn't giving you information as quickly. Wow. I love that.

Sarah Tacy [01:13:57]:
Thank you so much. And I often end the podcast with a little show me a little reticular activation, which could be, show me the next right step. May I trust more and more the wisdom that comes from within? May I look for examples outside of me of the possibilities of what I hear yearning from within, deep friendship, Eros and safety, that my desires are not too much. I can trust them and that I possibly, not possibly, I absolutely can build resources over time as I begin to expand and expand and expand into the next version of myself. Thank you so much. Mhmm. Gorgeous. Thank you for tuning in.

Sarah Tacy [01:15:06]:
It's been such a pleasure. If you're looking for added support, I'm offering a program that's totally free called 21 days of untapped support. It's pretty awesome. It's very easy. It's very helpful. You can find it at sarahtacey.com. And if you love this episode, please subscribe and like. Apparently, it's wildly useful.

Sarah Tacy [01:15:31]:
So we could just explore what happens when you scroll down to the bottom. Subscribe, rate, maybe say a thing or 2. If you're not feeling it, don't do it. It's totally fine. I look forward to gathering with you again. Thank you so much.