097 – Jennifer Racioppi: Your 2025 Astrology Outlook

Sarah Tacy [00:00:00]:
Did you know our decision making and ability to connect with others, including our kids, is influenced by the state of our nervous system? When our nervous system feels well resourced, we are more likely to make heart based decisions instead of falling into protective trauma patterning. We will be more likely to connect with loved ones in creative and generative ways because we’ve met the hard emotions in ourselves first. And please hear what I’m saying too is that we can then meet our kids in their wide range of emotions in more fun and generative ways when we have resource ourselves to meet ourselves in these places as well. After feeling like I nearly disappeared postpartum, nervous system resourcing brought me back to life to fully experience joy, build meaningful relationships, strengthen my marriage, and embrace vulnerability. I would love to invite you and or someone you love to resource a 4 month program designed for women who have navigated matrescence, that transformative threshold of caring for tiny humans, a threshold that can bring immense joy, but also make it challenging to recognize your own existence, let alone your preferences. My dream is to help us become well resourced, alive mothers, because this is the basis of familial and generational healing, but also because feeling embodied and alive is our birthright. The program starts January 6th. Check the link for more details. It would be a total honor to meet you in this journey.

Sarah Tacy [00:01:41]:
Hello. Welcome. I’m Sara Tacy, and this is Threshold Moments, a podcast where guests and I share stories about the process of updating into truer versions of ourselves. The path is unknown, and the pull feels real. Together, we share our grief, laughter, love, and life saving tools. Join us.

Sarah Tacy [00:02:24]:
Welcome to Threshold Moment.I am really happy to be here with Jennifer Racioppi who has been on this podcast at least 2 other times now. And I’m gonna skip the bio at this moment and just say that Jen is a dear friend. She has been a steady, loving support in my life for years now. And she also happens to be an incredible astrologer that you could find on the morning show that you did I get that wrong? I felt like a little.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:02:58]:
The Today Show. The Today Show. You know that Apple show with Jennifer Aniston.

Sarah Tacy [00:03:05]:
Which I think is, like, based off the Today Show. You know, either one. Still pretty awesome. And just somebody who weaves together life coaching, positive psychology, understanding the depths of humanity and living by which you live your own life with such integrity. And I, generally, once a year, will sign up for, like, an official reading with Jen and to help me figure out possibly timing of things and sometimes just to get, like, a little nudge or a little clarity from Jen about life and business and love. Because as I said, she weaves her own personal understanding of life into what she’s also reading from the stars. And this year, when Jen was going through some of the timing of when I wanted to launch my program and what was happening, and she talked a little bit about 2025 at the beginning with Mars going into retrograde and then that being followed by Venus going into retrograde, there is a part of me that that, oh my gosh. That sounds like people could use a lot of support, a lot of nervous system support for a time like that.

Sarah Tacy [00:04:26]:
And Jen and I have decided we’ll just go where the conversation flows on this. So it’s not a conversation all about prediction, but a conversation about how we might support each other through unknown times.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:04:43]:
It’s such a joy to be here with you. Thank you so much for having me.

Sarah Tacy [00:04:46]:
Would you be able to say a thing or two about the beginning of 2025? And I know there are a 1,000,000 things that you could read about or know or tell us about what’s happening in the cosmos, but particularly around or specifically around Mars retrograde?

Jennifer Racioppi [00:05:04]:
So, you know, let’s just first address transitions. Right? We’re leaving 2024. We’re entering 2025. And that in and of itself is a transition. We’re coming through solstice, the darkest time of the year in the northern hemisphere. And right on solstice, the sun moves into Capricorn. Solstice’s sun stops, so we take this pause. It’s the shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:05:30]:
And the sun moves into Capricorn, which is Capricorn. Cardinal Earth, initiatory makes things happen. Thus, like, we get ready to reset the calendar year. The calendar year starting, to me, that really begins with solstice. Obviously, in our culture, we have the Christmas holiday, which I think this year is also Hanukkah overlapping with it, and then we have the revelatory experience of ushering in the new calendar year, however one does it, and then the new year starts. So that in and of itself, astrology, you know, at the most basic level is a lot more wrapping huge cycles at this point in time. And all of 2025, as we step into 2025, is this amazing transition. Maybe harrowing, maybe awful, but, ultimately, this huge opportunity.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:06:29]:
And a lot of it is unknown. A lot of it is dicey. A lot of it is really exciting. And so when we hold that, right, that bigger perspective and then we zero in on, like, okay. What are the nuances astrologically as we step into this new year? Yeah. Mars is retrograde. We’re coming out of Mercury retrograde. Mercury stations direct in the middle of December.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:06:57]:
We have some other really big transits happening, like Jupiter and Saturn in a square right around the time of the New Year. I think that happens on Christmas Eve. And then we come into the New Year with Mars, the planet of forward action, the planet that loves to take initiative and drive and make things happen into retrograde motion. Retrograde motion is a pattern in the sky where the planet apparently moves backwards. It’s not actually moving backwards. But the correlation is is that that planet’s activity, that’s natural aptitude is somewhat thwarted or numbed or muted. And so we’re without the natural, normal momentum of Mars as the year starts. So Mars, again, is our drive, determination, our ability to make things happen.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:07:52]:
It’s also the god of war. And in a retrograde motion, in my experience of it, is that it brings us to a more one word that comes to mind is, like, fallow. Like, we’re we’re laying low. We’re doing more introspective work. We’re we’re pushing forward to get things done, but we’re pushing forward almost like the image that comes to mind is, like, when a car breaks down. Right? Like, you can still push it to get off the side of the road. Like, you can’t hit the gas pedal, but you can get behind the car and push it. And that’s a little bit what it’s like with Mars retrograde.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:08:35]:
It’s like we’re doing a little extra work to get a little bit of progress compared to when Mars is in a really fast moving pattern. We’ve got a a well oiled machine, so to speak. That’s a broad stroke. I think we can unpack some of that before I go much further. But, yeah, it’s also important to say that Mars begins its retrograde journey in the sign of Leo, and it retrogrades moving backwards into Cancer. So Leo is ruled by the sun. It’s a sign that’s all about expression, leadership, and then it moves into Cancer. So Mars in Cancer is like this deep emotion.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:09:20]:
And that’s where a lot of Mars retrograde will happen in the the hallows of our insides, in the interior, and the furnaces of our emotions. So we’re moving into not just Mars retrograde, but Mars retrograde in Cancer, which will happen shortly after the new year kicks off.

Sarah Tacy [00:09:40]:
So I think in our session and in the reading, it’s like, it may not be the best time to launch a program. Right? As you’re saying that you’re when you when you have the image of pushing a car on the side of the road and it’s like, you can’t actually just get in the car and drive. You need, like, so much effort for so little progress. It makes me think like, yeah. That sounds like a bad time to launch a program. But the reason why I decided to go forward too with it was because you also said that when Mars is in retrograde, and I’m wondering if this pulls into the Mars and Cancer as well, that it’s a time where we can start to look at our unhealthy ambition.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:10:25]:
The shame based ambition. That’s what I said. I said it’s it’s not really a great time to launch a program unless the program really hits the head of the needle of what’s gonna be in the zeitgeist. And I said, in this particular situation, it’s healing shame based ambition. It’s ambition and drive to prove that we’re worthy or to soothe our nervous system. Like, as long as we have how do I say this? Like, you know, when we I let me put it in a nice statement. I personally can identify times in my life where I feel urgency to get things done, Not necessarily because I really need to get that thing done, but because I need to be busy in a way that feels productive because that’s in and of itself, a bomb for my anxiety. And so this Mars retrograde is a great time to look at where we’re striving to feel accomplished so that we can then say, like, I’m worthy or I held my anxiety off today because I was able to get through my to do list, and I’ll get to my anxiety tomorrow.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:11:31]:
Or, you know, those that we try to outsmart our emotional needs through productivity, essentially.

Sarah Tacy [00:11:41]:
At the same time that I hear this and say, oh my gosh. This program is gonna hit on that. I can still see it in myself. Right? I can still see these parts in myself. And I remember reaching out to Kate Northrop a few months ago, and I said, I’m feeling really overwhelmed. It’s the day before. I’m gonna get my period. Maybe that’s it.

Sarah Tacy [00:12:00]:
But I can’t tell if I should just, like, get some of the things done off of my checklist, off of my to do list to feel better, or if I should, like or just take a bath. And in a very simple way, she was like, yeah. Productivity is a trick. It’s just all your nervous system. So why don’t you go take care of your body and then see what feels important?

Jennifer Racioppi [00:12:24]:
I was like,

Sarah Tacy [00:12:25]:
this is like, it is literally my work. Right? This is the same guidance I might give another. But sometimes hearing you say something like this or Kate or just having a friend reflect it back is so useful to be in community of people who continue to remind one another of these various traps. Right? And so nervous system work, of course, is, hey, how can we attend to our bodies first without trying to do something external for our body to feel better, without trying to prove our worth in order for our body to feel better. And as I’m hearing you say this, I’m both thinking it’s it’s so on point with the work that I do, but also just noticing, if I’m being really honest, is probably the work I’ll continue to do throughout my lifetime.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:13:20]:
Yeah. And who won’t? Right? Like and then, let’s just also put it in context of, like look. There are financial pressures that go along with living this life. And, like, financial stress is one of the biggest stresses that I contend with personally and, like, just the all the nuances of, like, making sure things are happening in an order where money is in the right place at the right time for needs to be met. And and, capitalism and financial needs, like, go on despite ludial phases and planets being in ill placed positions. You know? And so I think that it makes sense because we live in a world that is functioning on this innate value where time is money.

Sarah Tacy [00:14:10]:
And I’d say it makes sense. And, like, if I can make so there’s that part that’s, like, of course, that can calm our nervous system too just to hear, like, of course, you feel this way or, of course, this is coming up. But the beauty of tending to our body when we’re feeling out of whack or, like, there’s so many things to do to just take a pause even if it were 3 minutes is that it’s when we start to come more into our range of regulation, our range of resonance that we actually see what is actually important on that to do list. Right? Like because otherwise, it’s like, I must do it all or or I’m gonna completely fail or I must, like and so taking time to tend to ourselves, to tend to our nervous system, our body, our soul, again, even if it’s 3 minutes, maybe, like, the bath. I did actually then take a bath, and it was 20 minutes. And I and when I was done, I was like, oh, I feel so like, now there’s nuance. Before, there was all or nothing. Right.

Sarah Tacy [00:15:09]:
There’s and there was a lot of I can’t. Like, there’s I must do it all I can’t with the the double binds that we’ve talked about. Like, I must get it all done. I can’t get it all done. And feeling really stuck in it, which is the feeling of a double bind, is that feeling of being really stuck and being able to pause, which is a condition that we create to change our state, make a different choice to tend to ourselves, even if a small chunk of time. So that when our body is in a place where we have more choice, we get to see more nuance. And a lot of times that all or nothing feeling dissipates.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:15:48]:
You got it.

Sarah Tacy [00:15:49]:
There are small doable actions that we can take that will still help our bottom line, that will still help our finances, but we get to do it from a different state.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:15:59]:
And this is, you know, like, that is the work. Right? Like, how do we not abandon our worldly needs or drop the balls on being fiscally or professionally responsible, but do it in a way where we’re not driving ourselves into the ground or a bull in a China shop or coming from a highly triggered place expecting really great results when we’re just in a highly triggered place, creating more problems for ourselves and others or overshooting the mark again and again and again and again and again to the point where we’re just base planet and burnt out. And that is, you know, the trick. So when I think of when I think of these planets, you know, I’m the the rare bird. Maybe not rare. I don’t know. But in my world, it feels like where I really love winter. Like, is I savor this time of year.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:16:48]:
I’m so excited for the next 90 days, you know, of, like, the first three months of winter where things are slow and dark and, like, there’s long nights and cold weather and, like, I love it. I also love retrogrades. Love retrogrades. And so I recognize that, you know, we tend to I wanna say, like, cultural waves or cultural preferences are seasons of blooming, blossoming, times of ease and growth. And so here I am saying, like, I love when we’re going against the brain a bit, when life’s a little bit harder, life’s a little bit slower. But I really genuinely love it. And the reason why I genuinely love it is because we can take this this time, this you know, like, a more I don’t know how to say it. Like, look at things from a different perspective.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:17:49]:
Bring our wisdom and our nuance and our understanding to things that we just when things are all systems go or it’s you know, you’re busy and it’s summer and there’s tons of outdoor activities and there’s parties and there’s long days and prolific work that it’s really hard to sometimes get that perspective. It’s a little loud. It’s a little overstimulating. So I love this time

Sarah Tacy [00:18:14]:
of year, and I love

Jennifer Racioppi [00:18:15]:
that we’re stepping into the new year. Mars retrograde is gonna be hard for some reasons. And I don’t love depression, and I don’t love those things. And those are things that we may all face. You know, emotional challenge and feeling deflated or without enthusiasm, like mental health issues. But, no, I don’t love that. But I love the opportunity that emerges in this. So for me, stepping into the new year with the retrograde Mars is sort of this wonderful opportunity to look at things from a different perspective and try to find that right action or that right sized approach and come back at things again and try to find the the I wanna say Goldilocks position, but it’s not.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:19:01]:
It’s just like, oh, what is mine to do right now? And what can we and what do I really wanna do? How do I get in touch with that?

Sarah Tacy [00:19:10]:
The slowing down. And when we slow down, there’s less noise. And when the season has less noise, and when something goes retrograde where when now I’m thinking about the nervous system is that when there’s a lot of momentum, it can keep us from feeling what’s beneath the momentum. And so momentum is really helpful when we’re just trying to get through a day or you have an interaction and you wanna give someone some orientation to what you’re going through, but you don’t wanna go into the depths of your soul with them at that moment. So you may say it with some speed. And that speed helps you get through it without feeling into it fully. So as I’m thinking of Mars retrograde too and a planet of momentum, I’m thinking about how uncomfortable it is often for people to slow down. So I, you know, guest teach in a program on a monthly basis.

Sarah Tacy [00:20:04]:
And the beginning of each, you know, I don’t know if I’d call it a program or a meditation. I say, I’m going to speak slow on purpose. And you can move, and you can do whatever you want. I’m going to move slow. And so many people have reached out to me to say how life changing it has been for them, but also how hard it was for the 1st couple months to go so slow. Because as they go slow, they feel more.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:20:36]:
Mhmm. And

Sarah Tacy [00:20:37]:
so a lifetime of going fast also means a lifetime of things that haven’t been seen or felt. And so as you’re speaking about new year, lower days, lower timing, planets in retrograde. And so then what we would say in the nervous system level is we get to do small double pieces. So if me talking slow is a little bit of a trigger, then they could also stand up and move fast, or they could add intensity somewhere to be at a slower pace. Does that make sense? Like, the small dual piece would be like, how can I be in this place of slow and have it be doable for me so that I don’t collapse or so that I don’t bite it like a hamster on a wheel that’s just going, going, going without moving and using all my energy? And so I think what I hear you saying is moving into these times with awareness and trying to have the capacity to have some choice in it.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:21:44]:
I think that there is a lot of choice. And I think that going back to, do I get my list done or do I take a bubble bath? You know? And it’s like, go take the bath and then see what you actually need to get done rather than steamroll and and be more precise with what your intentions are. And I think that that precision is something that can emerge during slower times, during winters, during the Mars retrograde. This one is an overlap winter Mars retrograde. Mars will be retrograde in Leo at this time of the solstice moving into cancer. And so there is this precision that can emerge as to, like, what do I actually need to do, and and how can I use this medicinal? Right? And I think that that’s why I love winter. And I think that’s why I love retrogrades is because there’s a medicinal component that comes to yielding to and accepting what is. And, you know, it’s like getting sick.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:22:47]:
I don’t love getting sick. I really don’t. I I prefer to not get sick. But say in November, I went to Legoland, and it came back, and I got freaking bronchitis. And I didn’t want bronchitis for being in, like, I don’t know, like, the castle thing and, like, all that. I’m assuming that’s where I got it. But it was in the process of being sick that I really had to slow down and tend to myself. And it was in that tending to myself that I discovered a few things that I really needed to discover and reorient to, and and I really appreciated the medicine that came out of being sick.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:23:28]:
I mean, I think that, you know, winter Mars retrograde, it it can be extraordinarily medicinal with the right mindset and the right awareness that things will come up. You know? Like, it’s not it’s not all roses. I do wanna say though that there’s a lot of forward movement with the planets too. Like, we’re focusing in on Mars retrograde and then shortly after Venus goes retrograde, but it’s on the backdrop of other big rapid changes. So it’s almost like we have things moving forward and coming into brand new territory in 2025. And yet before we start to really see, feel, understand that, we have these personal planets going retrograde in advance of that. So it’s it’s this confluence of things like blasting off into an a brand new era, new directions, but at the same time, needing to go deeper beneath the surface and take a step back to get more current and medicinally appointed while we’re almost like a pebble in a slingshot about to blast off into new And that’s the ping ponging, right, that we were talking about in your reading. It’s like we move forward and then we and we have been for so long.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:24:48]:
It feels like, you know, certainly, much of this decade so far has been this really wild ride. And I would say it’s, you know, it’s like it’s a defining moment in history where it’s like we’re on the cusp of so much newness, and yet we’re circling the drain on really, really, really historical issues that we still haven’t made bonafide progress on in ways that are long lasting and enduring. And so it’s this wild time where it’s like we have more technology, more advancing of of things, and more ways of communicating, more hope for the future than maybe we’ve ever had before. And yet at the same time, there are these historical issues in society, interculturally, that we can’t seem to make enduring progress on. And that juxtaposition of blasting off into new dimensions of time and space while circling the drain and, like, things that have been, we’ve gone around and around and around on for for it feels like forever is nauseating to me personally. But when we look at that in the context of the planets, right, like, we have outer planets making major moves. Pluto just officially moved into Aquarius for the next 2 decades. We have other outer planets making big moves this year.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:26:15]:
Neptune moving into Aries, Saturn moving into Aries, Jupiter moving into Cancer, Uranus moving into Gemini. All of this is, like, huge in the year ahead. So there’s such ginormous transition amid us, and yet there’s this medicinal look at what’s lurking beneath the surface, helping us get more appointed and current with ourselves, our emotions, and our needs while we sort of just cussed this edge of where are we going collectively, which I certainly don’t have the answers to. I don’t know. And I have hopes. My hopes have been thwarted on many many ways. So I can’t say I’m I’m particularly confident that my hopes will will come to fruition. And I think that, yeah, we’re just, like, in this in this really interesting time and space to be alive, but that may be way more theoretical than we need to go right now.

Sarah Tacy [00:27:21]:
Yeah. If we were to circle back to nervous system work, You and I briefly spoke before the conversation about hot double binds and cold double binds, and what do you do when you’re in the midst of a ping pong? And a double bind is, I like to call them, a rock and a hard place. It’s the feeling of I must and I can’t.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:27:45]:
I know that in my private work as a coach, that place between I must and I can’t is so up right now with my clients. Can you talk about that more specifically? Because I know as my audience listens to it, like, that that tends to show up a lot.

Sarah Tacy [00:28:02]:
Yeah. So what’s interesting about a double bind is that there’s something coming up in life that’s calling you to a new way, but there’s something so core to yourself and to your belief system that it’s very hard to see a possible way out. So, generally, it’s a programming that happened before the age of 3 that would make it see it’s it’s the lens that you see the world through. And it may create an I must statement, like, I must be successful. And simultaneously, it may show you because of x, y, and z, there’s no way it’s gonna happen. Or you may start pulling up all of these reasons in your subconscious or possibly your conscious of all the times before that it didn’t work out. And so the I must and I can’t meet, and it puts us into a state of dysregulation. And in that state of dysregulation, it’s hard to see any nuance.

Sarah Tacy [00:29:03]:
Nuance is not possible really in dysregulation. And so the way out of a double bind is slowly over time trying to find the smallest bit of regulation, which is why when I said the bath, that wasn’t an all or nothing. It wasn’t like, take the bath, don’t do any of your to dos. It was, can I find a small bit of regulation so that then I can look at my challenge in front of me and see what is actually doable in this place and what I can let go of? There are small examples of double binds that seem less central to one’s belief system, and it might be that you really need your kid to, you know, get to school and they really are insisting that they’re not gonna do it. And then they’re on the floor, and you are aware that there’s a time crunch, and it feels like an all or nothing. I must get them to school. I can’t get them to school. And it may not come up against, like, the core center of your being, but it feels like a rock and a hard place.

Sarah Tacy [00:30:06]:
We can come up against that in business. We can come up again. Like, it could be, I must make money so that I can do marketing. I can’t make money unless I have marketing. Right? It can be these things where it feels impossible. In the school situation, if I were go to go back, I might have to, like, how can I regulate my nervous system? And as I regulate my nervous system, it’s not uncommon that my child will begin to feel a little bit more safe. And then it’s not uncommon that we might then begin to connect a little bit. And then together, we might see a way of movement.

Sarah Tacy [00:30:51]:
And oftentimes, it’s like following the breadcrumbs because the sacred third or that nuance choice is not always obvious. And in the marketing example, if this is I don’t know if this is helpful at all. It could you you start looking at both things as if they’re fully true in a double bind. So the double bind, if you were to physically take it, this is what I see with Bridget Vixens, my mentor, is that when she talks about double binds, she makes 2 fists and she puts them together. And if the listeners were to take their 2 fists and put them together, you might start to tune into what happens to your breathing when you make 2 fists and put them together. I’ve always been obsessed with emotional anatomy. So this is the part that I kind of dive a little deeper into. And so for me, my breath goes up higher and it becomes a little bit more rapid.

Sarah Tacy [00:31:54]:
And so here is the I must, I can’t, and you would make your I must, I can’t statement. And then what’s really important in a double bind is that you actually acknowledge both sides of yourself. And so, you know, somebody the other day said, like, well, I need to get rid of this can’t statement because I have this vision. I need to follow through. And it’s out actually, what if we open our fist now, and we look at our hands, and we take them apart just a little bit, and we start to see them as 2 different things. And so for me, my physiology changes when my palms open. And as I start to kind of weigh them back and forth, then I can look over of like, I must have money in order to do marketing. And I can look at that and say like, Yeah, there’s some truth to that.

Sarah Tacy [00:32:43]:
And then I can look at the other side and say Jen, can you help me with the other side of this?

Jennifer Racioppi [00:32:50]:
So I must have money to do marketing, and without money, I can’t do marketing. Right?

Sarah Tacy [00:32:56]:
And so you can yeah. And so you can find that there’s, like, truth in both. And then when I look at them, then I add the statement, although

Jennifer Racioppi [00:33:02]:
Without marketing, I can’t have money. Thank you. Must have money to do marketing. And without marketing, I can’t have money.

Sarah Tacy [00:33:09]:
Yes. And so then I can look at it and go like, okay. That’s true. But is there anything else to that? Is there any other way that I can gain money without marketing? And one might go like, oh, yeah. There are these invoices I haven’t collected. And actually, there have been people who have been asking me to do work. And I just been so focused on marketing that I actually have been turning down sessions. And then you realize like, oh, there’s money waiting to come in.

Sarah Tacy [00:33:37]:
And then you can look over at marketing and, like, are there other you know, I don’t know if this is making sense because now I feel like I’ve gotten myself into a little bit of, like right? Like, you can start to go like, oh, this is true, but is it a 100% true? Almost like Byron Katie, like, is that a 100% true? And so then you can see, like, where is the nuance? And I have had people just, like, totally by the end of a session be like, oh my god. Money is, like, waiting to come in for me to me. And there are all these ways that I can actually reach out to people that don’t cost me money.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:34:11]:
There are in marketing problems. Right? Like, following up on past due invoices, invoicing people you forgot to invoice, opening up times on your calendar to take people who are already in your sphere wanting to buy from you where you don’t have the market at all. And these

Sarah Tacy [00:34:27]:
possibly like going to a social event where, like, something you wanna go to anyway, but you’re like, I don’t have time because I need to figure out my marketing. But it’s like, what if you go do the thing you really wanna do when you meet somebody? Does this make sense? So it’s like as we first we honor them and say, like, the part that says I can’t is often trying to protect us. It might be trying to protect our energy. It might be feeling like it’s in survival mode. But as we honor it more and say like, oh, I see yeah. I see that. That part of that is really true. And although that’s true, is there anything else that’s true that could like, are there any unmet needs? Is there any other way that we could support you? Is there anything else there? It’s a little bit could be like a little bit of parts therapy where you really look at them and say, like, yeah.

Sarah Tacy [00:35:13]:
I see you. And and what else is there? And then as the hands move and they become separate things and there’s inevitably new ways appear because there’s always more ways than two ways. There’s always more. You and I earlier talked about, like, we could go into heaven or hell, you know, in these next 20 years or in this next year. Like, we could go to either extreme. But what our nervous system often needs is what is the smallest doable piece? And maybe it’s recognition. Maybe it’s like, I recognize that part of me that’s fearful, or I recognize that part of me that needs a bath. And then I recognize that things still need to get done.

Sarah Tacy [00:35:54]:
Like, small, doable, actionable pieces that don’t fall into collapse or running ourselves on a hamster wheel.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:36:04]:
You got it. Yeah. You got it. I mean, this is so Mars retrograde. So to bring it back to the astrology, you know, like, Mars retrograde is like, yeah. On the one hand, it’s gonna suck. It’s gonna suck. You’re gonna get a lot of I can’ts.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:36:19]:
Right? Yeah. The other hand, there is, like, a creative redirect that will emerge. And so what I’m hearing you say is that in between the I can’t and the creative redirect is how do we get centered, find a small doable action, and make progress where progress is ripe to happen so that we can widen our perspective, see possibilities where we didn’t see it, and get in get in alignment with the creative reader at. And thus, to my point, do the deeper medicinal work that needs to happen that’s really only available during these seasons of slowness of, you know, of of things not going according to normal speed for whatever reason, and it merged better.

Sarah Tacy [00:37:02]:
I just wanna say I started writing notes and without thinking about what I was writing, just like my hands started, and it goes ding ding ding ding ding. And she’s like, ding ding ding. One of, like, your many superpowers is the way you weave things and then bring it out with such efficiency. And so sometimes when you say something back after I’ve, like, spent 10 minutes saying it and you say it back in, like, a sentence, I’m like, yes. Yes. But instead of actually writing it down, ding ding ding ding ding. That

Jennifer Racioppi [00:37:32]:
is it. But I also wanna talk about the double too because you just saw me go through this with my whole divorce. You know, it was like, oh, what a you know, like, I had this grandeur of delusion. I was I’ve been reflecting on this recently. Like, I thought divorce was gonna be like this thing that, like, yes. I’m just getting divorced. It’s going to happen. Divorced.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:37:53]:
And it’s like for anyone who’s been through something like that, it’s like, oh my god. I know idea how long that was gonna take or how hard that was going to be or the mass amount of unpacking I was going to have to do on so many levels. Right? And talk about being between a rock and a hard place. I’m wanting to move forward with my brilliant, beautiful life and feeling like I have to deal with this shit pile of logistics associated with untangling the logistics of my life that was in an 18 year relationship and decade gay plus marriage, 15 years, you know, when all is said and done. And just how my third option, my alternative perspective between zooming forward my new identity and freedom as a divorced woman and dealing with the not just the emotional pain of the betrayal and the loss, but, like, really the administrative nightmare.

Sarah Tacy [00:38:57]:
Yes.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:38:58]:
And his divorce and all the economic financial decisions that it brings. And so the the rock and the hard place, I can’t and I have to, was this whole very private extraordinarily personal sacred third that you very intimately watched me go through in these last couple of years. Backstory for everyone. Sarah and I are accountability partners, so we meet weekly and have NetWeekly for many, many years now in many different contexts. But most recently, you know, just so dyad, Gina. And and so she’s had this backseat view of me where I’ve just been, like, finding the sacred third, which is it’s it’s not I can’t, and it’s not a right now either. And, just to bring it back to the nervous system regulation, I think one thing that you and I concretely agree on, but correct me if I’m wrong, is that when we’re in the either or, we are definitely in a trauma response. Yes.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:39:57]:
Okay.

Sarah Tacy [00:39:58]:
Yes. And this came up for me as you were talking, which is our mind can work at incredible speeds, and it can take us into other dimensions. And so as we have our I must, you said, like, I must move into my beautiful new liberated life, and then there’s the physicality of the unwinding. And, you know, as you said, it’s it’s physical, it’s spiritual, it’s mental. It’s all of the things, but that takes time. And so the I must and this is just like I’m I’m saying this for myself right now too. The I must the vision isn’t undoable. It’s not that it’s not gonna happen, but the speed, because we’re also talking about speed in this podcast, the speed at which it happens is often slower than what we want.

Sarah Tacy [00:40:54]:
Other times in life, as you know, it almost happens faster than what we want. Right? Like The worst

Jennifer Racioppi [00:41:00]:
is the chewing through molasses. At least my experience of, like, of rebuilding, regrouping, disentangling, deconstructing the anatomy and ecosystem which my life was built upon. And I mean, this is aside from just reconciling the emotional betrayal. Right? Like, that was no showing thermal essence.

Sarah Tacy [00:41:23]:
And you I mean, to also maybe point out the obvious when you’re going through an emotional betrayal, when you’re going through grief, the ability to find nuance or even to focus. Right? As soon as we go into a place of dysregulation, which is healthy, it’s our body saying, like, there has been a huge violation, and it is very normal, but it is very hard to focus. So on top of that, just the time it takes to find the smallest bit of capacity to do the first piece of the paperwork, it’s everything takes longer also because our capacity has been drawn out in so many places that there’s very little left to manage the day to day.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:42:13]:
Yeah. I mean, it’s so true. And if I didn’t know astrology and I didn’t know my chart, I I don’t like, you know, like, that’s one thing to bring it back to astrology is, like, co regulating with the planets. I mean, that’s what we’re talking about. It’s like co co regulating with the cosmic curriculum afoot and the rhythms, the universe. Like, I knew and I studied and I understood, like, theoretically what was going to happen in my chart. I didn’t really quite get into I was in it, like how slow and how long it would be and and all the battles I fight. But at least, like, you know, there was the sense of, like I don’t know.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:42:54]:
Like, yeah, astrology served me well during that period. And to bring it back to, you know, this idea and I appreciate what you said about betrayal being so hard and so emotionally devastating that to conjure any capacity at all really demands so much resource. And I just wanna go back to your definition of stress, which is say it, stress is when more demands on our resources and resources exist.

Sarah Tacy [00:43:28]:
It’s even simpler than that. And I wanna give credit to Jerry Molitor who, my husband and I see every Friday. And there are so many definitions of stress which have to do with the physiology of stress. And Jerry said it in one of our sessions, and I was like, and this is where the name of my program came from. And it’s so succinct, which I’m not great at, but I love. And it’s stress is when we have more demands than resources. And And I feel like we can look at almost any time in our life where we feel totally overwhelmed, and we go, wow. We had so many more demands than resources.

Sarah Tacy [00:44:05]:
And part of the nervous system work and where nervous system work you say you were saying astrology felt like a lifeline for you, where nervous system work was a lifeline for me was trying to find things, like, locate resources that were already available that don’t necessarily cost more money but are available to be a lifeline. And sometimes when we’re more resourced, when we have more resources than demands, then resourcing sends us into, as you and I might call it, like, the level 3 or as Mel Robbins might say, the season 3, it moves us into thriving. It moves us into breaking old patterns. But when things are really hard, learning how to tap into whatever resources we have that are already there that we might not see or notice because we’re in a place of dysregulation, that becomes a lifeline that helps get us through it with what I would almost say, like, more integrity and clarity. Because we’re not gonna have the capacity to say and do everything that we would do if we were totally well resourced and lower demands. But to, like, do just enough of the right thing to help us get through in a way that is honest and in alignment with ourselves.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:45:23]:
Yeah. I mean, divorce was definitely more demands than resources. I was officially stressed. Yeah. I was, you know, like, not, like, stressed and, like, a crazy person stressed, but, like, way more demands than resources. And finding that sacred third of like, okay. What can I get done today? I have to really learn to live one day at a time. You know? Just like, what can I do today that is going to move the ball forward with the energy, focus, and attention I have today to move any ball, any forward, backward sideways? And just hope that the days add up.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:46:04]:
But, you know, but, like, that that’s how I made it through. But I wanted to use this as an analogy for the work that you’re taking on right now in terms of working with mothers. Right? Like so you are launching this program called resourced. It starts January 6th. It goes through April 7th. Correct?

Sarah Tacy [00:46:26]:
Yes.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:46:27]:
So from January 6th till April 7th, you are guiding moms through a process of nervous system regulation so that they get resourced. It, hence, develop the resources to counteract the demands in their life. So it’s more of a balance, and they can go from surviving or coping, which was very much an experience of getting through a divorce into a more thriving state by getting to root nervous system things. And if I’m going to correct me if I’m wrong, but you are specifically launching this program right now because the astrology is such that that’s the cosmic curriculum. Like, we need to slow down, resource, reorient. And then with time, we’re going to catapult in your directions, but, like, don’t miss this sacred medicinal moment to do this deeper work. Correct. I guess it okay.

Sarah Tacy [00:47:27]:
You you nailed it as you often do. And if I can add 1, as you say coping I I don’t know if you say coping to thriving, but I would almost say, like, coping to choice. Because when we’re coping, as you said, there’s, like, this, like, I’m just trying to get through the day, and I feel like I don’t have choice. And I, like, have too many things on my plate to plan ahead or to do anything. Like, how could anyone even say that there’s one more thing I could add to my plate? And as we do the nervous system work, it creates, like, this little wedge in the moment where there’s a little bit more choice. And in that choice, I would also say what I’m hoping what I’m dearly hoping for for mothers, this course is really structured. I mean, it isn’t like, oh, it could be good for, like, all of humanity, but, like, specifically for mothers because of the idea of how much demand there is, especially in the early years that matressin’s period as you taught me about where the demands are so high. So what resources are we gonna find to, like, recognize that we exist and to make choices on behalf of our existence? And one huge demand that we take on is suppressing our expression and suppressing who we are in order to keep the family unit as peaceful and calm as possible.

Sarah Tacy [00:48:53]:
And so, again, this is like small, doable pieces at a time, but I have really seen in myself and my own parenting and first for myself that as I move into a place of more choice and I can say like, oh, these big emotions are coming through now. Because I could stay calm, but calm is often a freeze. So now I have, woah, now I have these big emotions. And am I gonna call someone to coregulate? Am I gonna go for a run? Am I what we know we these have these theories around, like, healthy fight, healthy flight. We’re, like, am I gonna throw rocks as a healthy fight? Just, like, move the energy. And as I learn to meet myself in these places, now when my kids have these emotions, instead of suppressing my emotions of frustration and tolerating, I can be with them more honestly in a fight outlet or in a flight outlet. Like, I can really meet them where they are more because I’m meeting myself there, and then I feel more alive. And then our relationship is more I love the word generative.

Sarah Tacy [00:49:58]:
Right? Because as we were talking about sacred thirds, part of the sacred third is that we don’t we can’t see it until we change our state, and then we can only often see the next right step without seeing the entire, you know, golden pathway to Oz. Like, sometimes it’s just like, I can only see the next right step. And so we get into a more creative place of choice and expression that’s happening little pieces at a time.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:50:26]:
Yep. Yep. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. And I love that. I really do.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:50:32]:
It’s like bringing moms out of suppression and denial.

Sarah Tacy [00:50:37]:
Yes.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:50:38]:
Navigating suppression and denial, and then the juxtaposition of that is, like, overwhelm and, like, manic doing. Right? And finding that place of, like, choice. Like, I don’t wanna suppress. I don’t wanna deny it. I don’t wanna be in overdrive. I don’t wanna overdo. I don’t wanna be a control freak, but I don’t wanna be submissive. Where’s that place in between it all? Right? And finding choice to be in right relationship with self and emotions so that there can be a more generative dynamic in the family.

Sarah Tacy [00:51:10]:
I’m just over here like, yes, John. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And I just say, like, it feels so different. It feel because I have lived in the other places, and I also find myself wanting to say, this is not about perfectionism. This is not about, like, if you do it all right, then you will, like, never have a sucky moment of parenting or that it all then becomes enjoyable.

Sarah Tacy [00:51:35]:
Because like you said with, you know, with planets going into retrograde or things going at a different pace, it’s not that it all becomes enjoyable. I have to remind myself of this because I do have a perfectionist tendency. So when I am now able to feel more of my feelings, You know, it doesn’t always feel awesome, but I but I have so much more clarity and not using my resources to suppress anymore. I’m allowing them to express so I don’t have to hold them in. And it gives me a lot more honesty. Well, it’s liberation. It’s liberation.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:52:13]:
I mean, it’s real. It’s like freedom. It’s like, oh, I don’t have to mask and not to control. I don’t have to deny, but I don’t have to be wild and vicious and mean. It’s just like, oh, I can just be honest with what I’m feeling and and for and choose the next right action.

Sarah Tacy [00:52:31]:
And to do that, like, part of this course, the reason why we have live calls in the community and hopefully a retreat this this spring is because it’s so important for us to have a place to check-in with each other. And so, you know, there will be, say, 20 people so that we have time for these what is called co listening where you’re not looking directly at someone. You’re shoulder to shoulder, which we can do digitally. And each person just has, like, 4 minutes to say what’s real, What’s really real? And the other person just says then you say, thanks for listening. And then the other person goes, and then we come together as a group, opportunity to say something. And then we learn something about the nervous system and have an embodied experience of coming into a place of regulation, into a place of choice, and what it feels like to be in a new pattern. And so as we get further and further into the program, then it becomes more of like, how does this work relationally? How does this work with my partner? How does this but the beginning of like, who am I? What do I desire? Oh my god. I exist.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:53:43]:
Mhmm. Yeah. So this is a women’s group specifically for moms that’s really geared towards meeting self where self is and blossoming and blooming from there, guided by you, the amazing nervous system practitioner that you are, and nestled in these sacred retrogrades because we have Mars retrograde and then we have Venus retrograde. So we’re going backwards with our ambition and undoing shame based ambition and shame based motivation. And then we’re finding our fierce feminine and our sacred self and dealing with deep feminine wounding and resourcing and repositioning power. And then, basically, you’re wrapping this up right when Venus stations direct back in Pisces and a trine to Mars. That’s that’s the transit when this call comes to a wrap. So it’s nestled in this sacred astrological cauldron, if you will, doing the relational dynamic work with self.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:54:47]:
And then, you know, guided by you as a really wise nervous system practitioner

Sarah Tacy [00:54:53]:
Can you say something about Venus retrograde? I hear you say fierce feminine. I’m like, oh my god. Tell me more.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:55:01]:
Yeah. So Venus represents the goddess of love and the goddess of war. And when she goes retrograde as she does every 18 months, she descends into the underworld to meet the lost parts of herself and then reemerge as a more embodied version of her wholeness, which is the range, warrior yourself and lover. And often we think about lover as the docile Venus, the, you know, the garden Venus, the the the queen of pentacles Venus. But there’s also the queen of swords Venus, which is like, they don’t fuck with me. I’m gonna defend what I love. I’m gonna have righteous protection of who and what I need. And and oftentimes, one or the other gets oppressed.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:56:00]:
So we’re either all in the queen of pentacles, which is, like, let’s be with the earth principles and enjoy and be in the pleasure, or let’s be in the I’m gonna stand up for what I believe in and and be this warrior and take take action on behalf of what I need to protect. Venus retrograde is is is often this time of unwinding all of that and finding balance between the 2 so that we can have a more holistic understanding that we’re both. We’re not in the polarity of 1 or the other. The right relationship to the feminine, no matter your gender identity and or expression, is we’re both. We love and we take a stand for what we believe in while being in rapport with another person’s perspective. It’s not about dominance. Right? It’s not about being alpha, but it’s not about being submissive. It’s not about rolling over and fawning, and there’s that middle ground there.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:57:05]:
And so Venus goes retrograde in Aries and then retrogrades back to Pisces. So Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. It’s ruled by Mars. It’s initiative. Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac. It’s very much around the spiritual and the ephemeral. It is all the signs in in terms of it’s it’s the embodiment of everything. And so Venus retrograde is its own journey, but the fact that we’re having Mars retrograde and then Venus retrograde while we have Neptune moving into Aries and Saturn’s gonna move into Aries and Jupiter moving into Cancer and Uranus moving into Gemini all in the year ahead is really and they do.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:57:47]:
They go retrograde every year and a half to 2 years. Venus, 18 months. Mars, more on a 2 year cycle, just shy of 2 year cycle. And and so we don’t they don’t go retrograde every year. But they go retrograde often enough for for us to work with them with regularity. And this year, they’re both going retrograde at the beginning of the year, which is deep medicine or a rock and a hard place depending on how you see these niches. And the offer you’re making available as you could do the nervous system work and and and have and and not have a double bind. Right? Like, not going to this new year being like, oh, best of intentions.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:58:32]:
But suddenly, I’m in overwhelm, shut down, no choice. The planets aren’t cooperating, and I, you know, resentful of my children, resentful of my responsibilities as mother, wanna make progress, can’t make progress, spinning my wheels, burnt out in a rut, and then it’s Mother’s Day. Basically.

Sarah Tacy [00:58:55]:
Oh my god. Yes.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:58:57]:
Sarah is an amazing nervous system practitioner. This program, where can people find out about it?

Sarah Tacy [00:59:03]:
Sarahtacy, t a c y, and it’s sarah with an h, dot com, and it’s backslash resourced. And we’ll have that in the show notes as well.

Jennifer Racioppi [00:59:12]:
So we’ll link that in the show notes. And I’m really pumped. I think that this is a challenging time to launch for sure, but it’s it’s a it’s a ripe time to do this work. And so the intention is anyone who’s meant to be in this group get to the group. And, you know, I’m assuming that there’s, like, payment plans and all that stuff for people, and they’ll find all the details of the things. So is there anything else you

Sarah Tacy [00:59:34]:
wanna say? I do. So as soon as you said fun, I was like, oh my gosh. As we’re going into the second part of the program where we are really looking at, like, the relational dynamics we have, There was the first time I ever heard the phrase, when you’re okay, I’m okay, is hyper social, that it’s out of the range of resonance, out of the range of regulation. I was like, my jaw dropped a little bit because I thought that was just the truth of life. Like, of course, like, once my husband feels okay, then I’m gonna feel okay. Once my kids feel okay, then I’m gonna feel okay. And so to learn that is possible, it’s like, of course, I’m gonna be in relational effect to those I love most. But that there could be some choice actually of, like, can I be steady even as my child is unwinding and having a big thing? Can I have my okayness and my health as my husband comes back from work super stressed? Can I still find my center and be able to meet him not with a freeze? Because sometimes it’s like I have to freeze in order to meet him with Calm, or I get drawn in and merge with it.

Sarah Tacy [01:00:48]:
And so this, again, would be like, where is that in between where I exist and I can resource myself and be in relationship to other people even when they’re not doing okay? And I’m imagining that doing the first half of the work when we’re gonna do it, the way it lines up astrologically in the second half of the work, having a relational element and dealing with some of the things that as like, if one is socialized as female, that often comes along with that, which is our needs coming often last, and that we can feel safe once everybody else feels safe, that we can unwind that a little bit.

Jennifer Racioppi [01:01:28]:
That we’re not safe unless other people are signaling to us that it’s okay to be safe. You know, it’s like that. We don’t have permission to be safe when other people aren’t safe because we have to go along, get along, which means meeting them where they’re at. And, you know, it’s it’s highly codependent. It is like the the like, very clear language. It’s like, it’s just extraordinarily codependent to have our moods attached to other people’s moods and to mirror their moods as our reality because we don’t have permission to have our own experiences despite their reality. And to actually do the the personal parenting work, which is to say, like, oh, it’s okay for me to be fine even though they’re not. You know? Like, it’s it’s actually imperative that I’m fine when they’re not for many reasons.

Jennifer Racioppi [01:02:17]:
But if I’m not okay, that’s okay too. But, like, that’s an authentic I’m not okay. Not like I’m just not okay because you’re not okay. Like, I’m deferring not okay. And and and gosh, when it can figure that out in 6 months with you, I think everyone should should sign up whether you have kids or not. Like, if you’re a grown like me, a motherless or not a motherless, a woman in this world, you know, navigating divorce and not in a family unit in a traditional way. I still think there’s a room for you in this program. I get that it’s for, moms specifically.

Jennifer Racioppi [01:02:49]:
But, like, that’s just a uniquely, you you know, like, dysfunctional patterning that’s pervasive whether you’re a mom or not, which is I mirror others so closely for a sense of safety. It’s like that going along to get along thing. Like, I I don’t know how else to say it. I think we’re gonna get in the weeds if we go much further along here, but I but I deeply hear you. And I deeply think that there’s wonderful genius in in not just the curriculum that you’re offering, but in this work tailored towards women, particularly moms who were so under resourced in those early years of of mothering. So would you say this is for moms young children? Because I think this is for moms of any age. Like, you know, I hear all the time from moms with kids in college. Yeah.

Jennifer Racioppi [01:03:39]:
You know, moms with, you know, like, they’re you know, they’re tracking kids in college on their phone. Like, no. Did they get back from the dorm? Like, look. I’m from a different generation. We didn’t have cell phones. Like, I’m from the generation, like, it’s 5 o’clock. Where are your kids? Are they or it’s 10 o’clock. You know? Like, I traveled around the world with this with the phone card and called my mom every couple of countries to let her know, like, I was alive.

Jennifer Racioppi [01:04:04]:
Like, I wasn’t tracked. But I do know that today, like, it’s way different. Like, kids can be like, are you in the door? Are you in the library? Where are you now? Which maybe I’ll go for the kids, but it might just be an exercise in futility. So I I would think that this I mean, I’m no judgment. I have no idea. I’m not a mom. But I do know I hear it often around you know, it’s really almost impossible to feel okay if your kids are not okay for moms. The minute that your kid is not okay, that your day goes out the window and all your resources go to micromanaging where they’re at and and what they need and how you’re gonna help them solve their problem.

Jennifer Racioppi [01:04:40]:
And that that could happen throughout the duration of a child’s life.

Sarah Tacy [01:04:45]:
So what I know is we’re interdependent. And so there is no way in you know, if we’re in healthy relationships that somebody we love dearly is going through tragic time that we’re not gonna be affected by it or that we’re not gonna care in a way that it touches our heart. But what I also know is that if I were a child and I went to share with my parent, it’s so much easier to share with my parent if I know that my parent has tools to stabilize themselves instead of thinking, like, if I’m spinning out, then my parents is gonna spin out. Because then it’s like, I don’t wanna upset my parent. I don’t want my parents to spin out. I don’t want them to lose sleep because I’m having a hard time. And then as a currently, as a parent of a young one, if Sienna is having, like, a terrible time you know, she’s overtired and the smallest thing happens, and I know we’re in it for 45 minutes of, like, screaming. And there are certain things that I do to stabilize my nervous system so that I’m not just tolerating it because at some point, she’s gonna win.

Sarah Tacy [01:05:50]:
Like, she is gonna co regulate me, and I am I’m gonna be like, I can’t do this anymore. So for me to have ways to resource my body and do things, like, I I have something that works for me so that I am tending to myself while I am staying present with her. And there have been times there was a time where I was in Scotland and Steve called and he listed off all these things that were going, like, terribly wrong at home. But when I’m regulated, I can differentiate between, like, this is life and death or just like, oh, he’s going through a really hard initiation. This is not easy. I can emotionally actually be there with him and say, like, man, that sounds impossible. That’s so hard. I’m so sorry you’re doing that.

Sarah Tacy [01:06:35]:
And then get off the phone and be actually really present where I am because there’s nothing I can do from Scotland to help him back in, you know, back in the US. And that was such a big moment for me to go like, oh, wow. I really, in that moment, did not have the I’m okay when he’s okay. I was able to I also didn’t freeze. I was able to, like, really feel the challenge. And the same thing when I’m with Sienna at night, if she’s having a really terrible time, I can, like, really tell, oh, wow. She’s having a terrible time. But it’s so important, I think, that she doesn’t bring me into her.

Sarah Tacy [01:07:05]:
Like, I don’t co regulate with her, if that makes sense. In that moment, I actually don’t want to fall into her same place. I wanna stay stable for her.

Jennifer Racioppi [01:07:15]:
You know what? We’re gonna weigh again. We’ll need to yeah. But at the risk of it Yeah. Thinking forward. Right? Like, how powerful that is, what you just said about not putting your emotional burden on your child, essentially. You know, like, they need to be okay in order for you to feel okay, or you’re gonna coregulate with your kid and go down to their level. I don’t know. It just feels like that can be a transference of emotions that really changes one psyche.

Jennifer Racioppi [01:07:45]:
Like, putting the emotional burden on the pack of the parent, on the kid, and what you I love what you said around, like, hey. Like, I wanna be the parent where the kid can come to me and say, like, this is what’s going on, and I’m not gonna be overwhelmed by their emotional experiences because I’m actually resourced within myself, and I’m available to empathize with them and see, like, oh my god. Is this the life and death? Do we need to kick this into life and death moment? Like, is this real?

Sarah Tacy [01:08:10]:
Totally.

Jennifer Racioppi [01:08:11]:
Or do we just need to have that? Like, I really empathize with you, and I hear you, and I’m here for you, but, like, not get totally spun out by it.

Sarah Tacy [01:08:19]:
Because if we’re not dysregulated, we can widen our perspective, and we could go like, oh, fuck. Like, if I were your parent while you were going through the divorce, for example, my heart is gonna break, and I’m gonna wanna be there for you. And if I’ve lived long enough and listened to enough stories and been with enough people, then I also know, like, we are like, you are going to get to the other side. And I will be with you as you go from one side to the other. I will be stable. I will be I will do all I can to resource myself to be a stable one. But you don’t have to worry about me while you’re going through this time, and I have a big enough perspective to know that there is another side and you will get there, which is actually why you and I have our calls together so that we can do that for one another too to be you know, to, like, offer that widening.

Jennifer Racioppi [01:09:08]:
That’s real. That’s like a lifelong gift. I mean, family dynamics get really screwy when we’re burning each other with our emotions at that level. I think that that’s a whole other podcast and maybe different constellation of planets.

Sarah Tacy [01:09:26]:
I think we did it for today. I think we gave an overview that there are some possibilities of feeling all or nothing, either ors, and that there is slowing down happening so that if we can grab some tools or to be able to see nuance and choice and pause because I am not I don’t get to get away with not having the experience because I have some of these tools. But I will say as I’ve gone in and started to see, like, oh, there is my unhealthy ambition. Can I come back to my core self? Oh, there it is again. Can I right? It’s tools that just helps us to orient, give a little space to it, have some expression to let the emotions come out when we hit a core wound, and have places to coregulate that are safe. And so we’re doing it.

Jennifer Racioppi [01:10:21]:
It’s applied emotional intelligence. Yes. No way. This is damn. I wish being human was easier.

Sarah Tacy [01:10:28]:
And if anyone’s yeah. And if anyone is listening, I, Jenn, I a 100% agree. There’s a part of me that was, like, this this program is great for everybody. But if there’s anyone listening who is a mother who is feeling like demands are outweighing resources or you’re in a more stable place and really wanna feel like you have more choice and wanna get to know yourself and your existence and co regulate with other mothers, this program, again, it’s 12 weeks with a bonus 13th call to celebrate. So, yeah, thank you for listening in. And, Jen, thank you so much for adding your life experience and your wisdom of the stars and just being in this conversation with me. I love you to pieces and just always deeply appreciate you.

Jennifer Racioppi [01:11:13]:
Right back atcha. And to everyone listening, happy New Year. Woo hoo. Yes.

Sarah Tacy [01:11:25]:
Thank you for tuning in. It’s been such a pleasure. If you’re looking for added support, I’m offering a program that’s totally free called 21 days of untapped support. It’s pretty awesome. It’s very easy. It’s very helpful. You can find it at sarahtacey.com. And if you love this episode, please subscribe and like.

Sarah Tacy [01:11:49]:
Apparently, it’s wildly useful. So we could just explore what happens when you scroll down to the bottom. Subscribe, rate, maybe say a thing or 2. If you’re not feeling it, don’t do it. It’s totally fine. I look forward to gathering with you again. Thank you so much.

Sarah Tacy [01:12:42]:
Are you ready to build capacity for stress, joy, and vitality? Go from foggy to focused? Break free from anxiety and apathy? Your nervous system plays a crucial role in your relationship and decision making. By learning to resource your nervous system, you can make heart centered choices, respond to challenges with ease and grace, build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. If you’re interested, I invite you to join our 4 month resourced program. It’s for women who have been through matrescence, that threshold of mothering tiny humans, and come experience the transformative power of a well resourced nervous system. It begins January 6th. You’ll learn practical tools to calm, awaken, and support your body, connect with your emotions, cultivate deeper, more authentic relationships, and create generative and regulating practices that you can do with your kids. Join now, if this speaks to your heart, if this speaks to your deepest desires of what you want to move into in this next phase of your life.